CarbSane's Chronicles

My Morning Workout Courtesy of Irene

2011-09-01T06:55:00.000-07:00

We were mostly spared by the hurricane, thankfully. But several big trees did come down in the neighborhood. Sadly for us firewood scavengers, much of what is cut up is shredded or hauled off quicker than you can even ask them to leave it. Not that we really need more wood -- I think we have plenty to split up for the winter -- but I can't resist nice wood.

I loaded this into my van. Then into two large wheelbarrow loads. Wheeled those around 100 ft to the back yard, then unloaded by lifting them and carrying them 6 feet to the palate where I stacked them. Not a big job for me. Maybe 20 min total if that. But it feels good to lift heavy things ;-)

SPANX 25% OFF!!!

2011-08-24T14:22:00.000-07:00

I'm an unabashed fan of the Spanx -- undergarments of all levels of control that women (and men too!) of all sizes can wear to look better in their clothes. Of course in an ideal world a middle aged woman could lose 100 lbs and look all smooth in a clingy dress w/o undergarments, but I'll take the next best thing ;-)

Alas, these things aren't cheap and they rarely go on sale. Further, most of the time you have to purchase online because even stores that do carry them don't carry all the styles.

So ... I ordered something recently from Spanx.com. And I quick searched for a coupon code figuring anything was worth it. Imagine finding 25% off! From retailmenot.com (a great source!) here's the code: SPANXEMP25 -- said "end of summer sale" with no expiration, but use it while it's hot! It's an employee discount but it worked for me!! And ... free standard shipping.

Enjoy!

P.S. My best recommendation for if you could only buy one Spanx? One of their mid-thigh shapers. They have a lighter control "slip suit" and a heavier control "mid thigh shaper". Works under anything with no roll up or roll down!

Meet My Low Carb House Carnivore

2011-07-08T09:11:00.000-07:00

These days he goes by Sir Meows-a-Lot ... very vocal is he! Just a couple of pics. He's quite strong and will often climb up on the back of the couch while I'm pute-ering and head butt me from behind -- (sometimes cuz he's out of food, but often I think just to bug me!) -- Ouch!

I have a gazillion pics of him and his late brother. They were quite the pair for decade.... I'll share a few when the fancy strikes.

Born on the Fourth of July

2011-07-06T05:28:00.000-07:00

Baby robins!

The past two years the crows or ravens or whatever those big black cawing birds are have gotten all the robin eggs in the nests we've seen around the house. So we have a little weird shrub/tree in our back yard that's pretty close to our deck. It's busy out there this time of year so we were surprised to notice a nest in it when we went to turn on the water a bit back. Not to mention that my kitty likes to sit in the window not more than 6 feet from the tree. I figured it was abandoned but then hubby saw the robins going to it. Well, the morning of July 4 hubby came inside and announced that they were coming out of their shells! While mama was off getting food or something, I ventured over to try to snap a pic or two with my phone. You can't really see them too well, but I'll upload anyway. I think we got 3 babies in there! I've stayed away since so mama and papa can care for their babies in peace.

Really Occifer, I was just Hydrating!

2011-06-29T15:13:00.000-07:00

So I'm putting the finishing touches to relaunch things -- pssst ... very early tomorrow! -- and decided to have a little drink to celebrate. Went to pour my LC cocktail of vodka and fruity diet soda and there's no booze in the house. Ahh but there's left over Coors Light from Father's Day! I think the only time I've had a beer in the past four years is on the very rare occasion that we go out for Mexican food and I'll get a Corona. I don't even remember when the last time I had one at home was.

Of course I couldn't he'p myself from rationalizing this 5g of carbs in a can with alcohol. I had sat in the sun today and I was feeling rather dry eyed at the time. Then I got to thinking! The 10g or so of alcohol was diluted with a full 12 oz of water in that thar beer!

Coors Light ... a great way to hydrate!

Hope to see y'all tomorrow for the new look!

Happy Father's Day ...

2011-06-19T04:27:00.000-07:00

... to all the Dads out there!

I've been a bit behind in the personal blogging. We're firing up the grill today for my Dad and hopefully the hubby's as well.

Enjoy the day, and thanks Dad for all you've done for me over the years.

A great post ...

2011-06-07T11:03:00.000-07:00

... for the food obsessed:

Dear Food Obsessed People…

Enjoy!

DYDT? Day 7: Real Life's Send Me an Angel

2011-06-06T05:31:00.000-07:00

Not the best dancing tune, but it was on the "related" strip looking for another tune and I love this song.

DYDT? Day 6: Michael Sembello - Maniac (Flashdance)

2011-06-05T03:12:00.000-07:00

I do the little running in place in the kitchen when I cook all the time. HIIT by the kitchen timer!

DYDT? Day 5: Toni Basil - Mickey

2011-06-05T03:02:00.000-07:00

Forgot to post yesterday!

Creepy Eades?

2011-06-03T07:15:00.000-07:00

Is it just me, or was anyone else kinda weirded out by this paragraph in Eades' recent post:

The surest road to failure in the first few days of low-carb dieting is to listen to your body. The whole notion of listening to your body is one of my major pet peeves. In fact, just hearing those words makes me want to puke. In my experience, they are usually uttered by females with moist, dreamy looks in their eyes, but not always. I just read a ton of comments in recent Paleo blog post in which vastly more males than females actually wrote this drivel.

Moist, dreamy looks?? {{{{{shudder}}}}}} Very strange choice of words.

DYDT? Day 4: Billy Idol - Dancing with Myself

2011-06-03T07:00:00.000-07:00

DYDT? Day 3: The Hooters - And We Danced

2011-06-02T06:45:00.000-07:00

Loved this band. Too bad they never really did much after this awesome album.

Selenium & Estroven

2011-06-02T02:15:00.000-07:00

I ran out of Estroven a little while back and just never got around to buying a new box and just stopped taking it. I guess I thought since I was officially *post* meno now maybe I didn't need it.

Well, those danged night sweats returned in the past month or so.

I also started breaking out again ... not all the time ... odd breakouts. My sister mentioned iodine knowing that I've gone on quite a few sushi sprees in the past year or so. So I've been laying off the sushi and that seems to have helped some.

I've also been having bouts with insomnia but figured these were due to various life stressors of late.

So all this has me needing to go to the doctor and get my hormones checked as something is out of balance. But in the meantime, I read something about selenium and iodine and decided perhaps I'm somehow selenium deficient. Figured a supplement is worth a shot and couldn't really hurt.

Well, been taking the Estroven (max strength, $20 for 7 week supply at Costco) for two weeks now and selenium (250 mcg and the Estroven adds 70 more) for about 10 days.

The first two nights on the selenium I surprisingly slept through the night. No more night sweats. I've woken up a few times the past few nights, but usually when this happens I can't fall back asleep and I putter on the puter. Mostly now I've pretty much just fallen back asleep. One night I opened up the laptop and fell asleep reading who knows what. This is fantastic, and I've not had insomnia since (I was up very early with the hubby today, so my 3am postings were not insomnia related).

I don't think this is some sort of placebo effect as insomnia wasn't the reasoning behind the selenium. So I thought I'd share my experience.

DYDT? Day 2: Poison - Talk Dirty to Me

2011-06-01T05:26:00.000-07:00

Did You Dance Today?

I did. And today's tune is Talk Dirty to Me by Poison.

Yeah ... there'll probably be a lot of big hair band fare here :D

DYDT? Day 1: Bon Jovi Runaway

2011-06-01T05:22:00.000-07:00

DYDT? = Did You Dance Today?

I'm going to have a little fun over here in response to a suggestion I received from a friend. Try to dance to one song each day. I decided this much I can do every day. It's already making me feel better. I'm going to share my tunes with you.

I always liked this song by Bon Jovi. Not so much that the lyrics speak to me, but the music just always makes me feel GOOD and like dancing. So I did :-)

Oh ... and Jon Bon Jovi is just so pretty :D

Playing with a glucose meter & Self fulfilling prophecies

2011-05-24T04:01:00.000-07:00

Whether or not I had glucose tolerance issues when I was heavier, I'll never know. I did have some classic manifestations of IR, so probably ...

Anyway, about 2 years ago I got curious, so I scored a meter and a boatload of strips on the cheap off ebay and started prickin' away. What I learned was that I'm not diabetic or even close. I do think I also determined the cause of my issues I experienced the second time on LC as being hypoglycemia.

This is invaluable information and I suggest everyone learn how their body responds to various foods. Don't do it after reading over at Dr. Davis' blog though, because it is just nonsense that postprandial BG should never "spike" over 110. Please.

But often I hear that BG spikes and then plunges an hour later making one hungry. Lots of times people claiming this have no clue what their BG actually is or does. I think it's a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy for some folks trying to do LC who end up going on carb binges when they have a slice of bread. If you convince yourself that you're a carbaholic and experiencing reactive hypoglycemic hunger attacks, you probably think you're having them, but far fewer people actually experience this than think they do.

So a BG meter can be another tool in the shed to figure out whassup with your body. If you're one of those who has a hard time sticking to low carb and goes on carb binges, it may well be worth your while to see how you actually respond.

The Phantom Menace

2011-05-19T07:34:00.000-07:00

I just found this guy's blog from a post on Jimmy Moore's LLVLC forum. I thought his latest post on "Food Issues" to be very good.

http://scottabel.blogspot.com/2011/05/food-issues-and-you-finally-facing.html

Yes, he appears to be selling a workshop, but the rest of it is on point IMO.

Dietary Corners

2011-05-19T06:10:00.000-07:00

As most of my readers are likely aware, there seems to be a bit of changing winds in the low carb/paleosphere of late. It's gotten me thinking a lot about my own diet moving forward and where to go from here.

When one advocates a particular diet as "best" or becomes known for such a diet to achieve some measure of success, it is very difficult to shift views even in the face of compelling evidence.

I think this is happening in the Atkins-style wing of the LC community. The mantle of which is currently being carried by one Gary Taubes. Soooooooooo many prominent figures in this arena struggle with maintenance and/or remain significantly obese. Yet they are so married to this being how they have to eat, and/or their livelihoods are so intertwined with their diet-based "identity/brand", they won't ever consider a change in approach. When you're VLC there's not much else to do. And Taubes has adopted a fatalistic posture: if VLC doesn't pare the pounds, it's likely the best you can do after damaging yourself so.

I disagree.

I see these people embodying that which Einstein defined as insanity, and painting themselves into corners they can never get out of. Let the paint dry ... venture across the room!

Crappy advertising

2011-05-12T04:05:00.000-07:00

No, not a bad ad post here ... and this has nothing to do with weight or diet. But has anyone else noticed the rise in ads for products discussing feces, aka crap?

We have more than one ad for toilet papers that discuss (1) getting fully clean and (2) errrr.... elude to "breakthrough" - IOW not getting crap on your fingers! Ewww. :-)

Then we have Charmin freshwipes. Baby wipes for adults.

And then there's the toilet commercial featuring "Hey hey hey goodbye" with flushing toilets.

Maybe it's all just a coincidence ... or did someone in the ad world get this idea to target those who are proud when they produce a "double flusher" and a bunch of others thought it was a good one?

/random thought of the day ;-)

A Trifecta of Technology Travails

2011-05-09T04:11:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was a royal PITA on the technology front. First, I went to get a file off my old laptop and discovered it's dead. Next, I had my cell phone in my back pocket and cracked the screen. Lastly we awoke yesterday to our fridge registering in the freezer temps in the high 20's, fridge temps in the 50's.

On the making lemonade front, I cooked up an awesome split pea succotash soup from some frozen veggies and left over ham in the freezer, and cleaned out some stuff that had gotten damaged already by an ongoing icing issue we have with the POS.

I'm due for a new phone from my wireless carrier/plan, but I really like the one I have. I can get a screen for less than $10 on ebay. Will do! Luckily Best Buy had a USB adapter so I could get the file off the HD. And after cleaning out most of the stuff from the freezer and such, the temps were back down to normal this morning.

Good week ahead?

Mental Age

2011-05-04T05:09:00.000-07:00

I have no idea why, but even though I'm barreling towards 50, there's still an age that sticks in my mind that I always feel like I'm that age. Mine is 28. I could go into psychoanalytical reasons why I suppose, but ultimately I don't really know and think that would be a waste of time anyway.

Just curious if anyone else can relate to this?

Are you Loving Life eating how you do?

2011-05-02T06:00:00.000-07:00

I've been reading/listening to a lot of Matt Stone lately. May not agree with everything he advocates and such, but in the first video in his recent summary series, Matt focuses on stress. He made one comment that kind of jumped out at me - paraphrasing: A unifying sentiment heard when interviewing long-lived people is a sense of happy-go-luckiness and enjoying life.

Take George Burns who attributed his longevity to his regular diet of martinis, smoking the big cigars that were his lifelong trademark, and dating pretty women. Burns ignored medical advice to change his lifestyle and dedicated one of his four books to the widows of his last six doctors.

Does our way of eating exclude and so demonize certain foods that we mega-stress over every little lectin, molecule of fructose, microgram of omega 6's, etc. that we no longer really enjoy it? Judging from the temperments I've encountered around the web, I'm tending to think some of these folks aren't really enjoying how they eat as much as they try to convince people they do. That's just the sense I get. Others seem so happy eating a diet so far outside the norm of how humans have ever eaten they take monumental umbrage to any suggestion that it may not ultimately be healthy. Go figure ...

Food - what we eat and what we don't eat - should not be the central determinant of happiness in this life. It should play a supporting role as Matt says.

I think sometimes doing this blogging thing has me obsessing needlessly over my weight or what I eat far more than I used to, even when I ate more stringently for days/weeks on end. I actually stressed a bit over admitting I ate a bag of microwave popcorn for dinner the night before my Jimmy interview! There is IMMENSE pressure in the low carb and paleo-inspired community to eat with some sort of purity 24/7/365. Moreso, it seems to me, than I've ever encountered in weight loss support groups I participated in years ago. I'm not encouraging pre-packaged foodstuffs here, but perhaps there's more wisdom than folks think to programs like Nutrisystem where one gets to eat various foods that are not "allowed" on various plans. Denise Austin eats ice cream! Real ice cream. Not every night, not an entire half gallon. She's nauseatingly happy!

For sure there are some low carbers of sorts who exude happiness and vitality. Mark Sisson comes to mind. But most seem to come off rather like humorless folks auditioning for the role of some sort of amalgamation between Susan Powter, Archie Bunker and Ben Stein (in Ferris Bueller's Day Off). I wonder sometimes if some of the still overweight if not downright obese and not particularly young-looking-for-their-age low carbers are really enjoying their lives anymore. I'm not attacking anyone, merely observing is all. It seems some have so identified themselves with a diet that they can never eat differently because to do so would end their careers. Sounds stressful to me! Just sayin' ....

To the extent that I have any, my internet heroes these days include guys like Matt and Anthony Colpo for having the - there's really no delicate way to say this folks but - balls, nuts, plums, rocks, bollocks, nads, nuggets, stones, kerbangers, marbles, cullions, pelotas, cojones, etc. etc. to change course in the face of new information. In the end, I get the impression that it wasn't information from the internet, universities, the pharmaceutical industry, journalists, comedians, doctors or diet-book authors. Rather information their bodies conveyed.

So thanks Matt for getting me to rethink a few things. Oh ... and thanks Anthony for setting a fine example. (I'm sure that just caused a few ketone and fatty acid flooded blood vessels to pop - grin). Keep on keeping on doing what you do.

Freeze Frame

2011-05-01T07:25:00.000-07:00

Fruit Fest!

OMG - I'm sure (not!) I'm going to gain a gazillion pounds eating all this stuff, but yesterday there was a super sale on absolutely gorgeous strawberries and cantaloupes.

So today I'm eating fruit.
Lamb chops, yellow squash and corn on the cob for dinner.

Carbs, grains, fructose ... Oh My!

Induction Disorder?

2011-04-29T06:26:00.000-07:00

As the low carb community continues down its path towards advocating fewer and fewer carbs for all eternity I can't help but harken back to when I read Atkins' first book. I read it cover to cover (well, not all the recipes) before embarking on my first attempt. I was very familiar with the *notion* of adding back carbs and climbing the rungs of his ladder to achieve ongoing weight loss. But .... I never made it out of Induction.

This is far more typical than atypical. Folks tend to lose weight rather rapidly the first time they try Atkins or when re-committing after a long respite eating SADly. At the end of two weeks, it's very tempting to just keep going. Why would I want to risk slowing my weight loss? Right? I don't have any accurate records of the time, but I spent something like 3 months on Induction that first time and dropped around 40 lbs. Then the resolve evaporated and I drifted off the plan. I was still in diet mentality mode and took many of Atkins' admonitions about eating a bite of potatoes and such all too seriously. Once I drifted, it didn't seem worthwhile to watch carbs at all, and with that went caring how much of anything went in my mouth.

This pattern was to be repeated on stint two, although the health concerns (possibly hypoglycemia?) may have spurred the end a bit more.

And so it was that I fashioned my planned cheating method this time.

To their credit, the authors of The New Atkins at least forecast a life barely out of induction in all perpetuity for "some". In reality, when one looks around the low carb web, I would say that it seems to be VLC for many. Folks believe eating 60g carb = weight gain while 30g carb = weight loss. Sorry if this offends, but this is simply nonsense!!

It's an awful corner to paint oneself into to count or restrict carbs as an anorexic would count or restrict calories. To eat a carby meal and panic over 0.3 lb weight gain the next morning on the scale and think you simply can't eat carbs. Or to see one's BG rise over 110 and think diabetes is just another bite of potatoes away from reality.

That is in eating disorder territory folks. Just sayin'.

I'm a birdist

2011-04-25T12:57:00.000-07:00

Yep

I must admit this.

I feed birds. I select feed and am partial to the goldfinches.

In our attempts to do this here at the new (old) home we succeed in feeding birds about 75% of the time ... at great expense for proper feeders or else it would be more like 25% of the time or less.

Today I was down in the dumps a bit. It's been the case lately having nothing to do with weight or diet issues ... just life stress (although I will admit the dipshits take their toll at times, still my skin just thickens).

Sun finally peeped out. So I'm on the back deck. A Mr. & Mrs. Goldfinch came to the feeder.

Big ol' sunny smile ... Silly huh?

What a Wonderful World

2011-04-16T04:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday while on the road, we had the radio on a classic rock station. Turns out it was the 10 yr anniversary of the death of Joey Ramone of The Ramones.

Music aside, The Ramones remain a quirky nostalgic link to my youth. My HS chemistry teacher was a rather eccentric man who was into snakes and the Ramones. The stories of his extracurricular activities were the stuff of legend amongst us students. But Mr. M taught me something special - stoichiometry. What?? Well in chemistry this is a method for doing various calculations for chemical reactions that begins with the concept of a mol (unit of number of particles/atoms/molecules) but is accomplished by reconciling/canceling units. I would later be reintroduced to this in various engineering applications as "dimensional analysis".

I've always wanted to go back and thank this man for giving me such a head up on my classmates. I was not the most academically achieved entering college (no slouch but not tippy top) but excelled beyond many of the valedictorians in my college classes. I credit Mr. M for being "cool" enough to keep me from falling asleep in his classes and instilling this incredible tool in me. Most learn stoichiometry, most forget it too. Mr. M somehow related that it was the key to all scientific/engineering calculations for all. An in valuable tool. I agree.

So it was a neat trip down memory lane listening to a friend of Joey's talk about him and listening to other songs of my youth eliciting frat party flashbacks ;-) They ended the tribute with Joey's remake of What a Wonderful World.

Enjoy! (Yes, it's the right video just make it past the lead in)

It's better to burn out than waste away?

2011-04-14T05:46:00.000-07:00

My family member was transferred to a different facility last week. This facility is a short term rehab within a nursing home. I've been going to monitor the physical therapy sessions and offer my support. Here PT is much more mixed and includes stroke victims and dementia sufferers. (Our case was an almost totally immobilizing injury followed by surgery - no paralysis or cognitive issues).

As I look around the - rather depressing - halls and such, most of those sleeping in their wheelchairs or slumped over tend to be extremely frail. There are three very frail women I see regularly on the same PT schedule. I've seen only one obese woman. Being thin certainly doesn't seem to have helped these ladies who shuffle in their walkers deal with their physical limitations.

Which begs the question if the obese have died off before reaching that age. A sobering thought if true, but perhaps some padding makes us more resilient as we age? But it also begs the question - do I really want to live that long? And if so, might my extra pounds not be so much of a detriment after all? Is lean really what I want at this point in my life? (Not that I'm in any danger of getting there any time soon! LOL)

Don't get excited oh detractors of mine. I'm not planning on offing myself anytime soon. But if I have my druthers and the big guy is listening, maybe I'd rather not survive to get that ambulance ride when the time comes.

Sorry for the bummer post. Just what's going on in my head lately.

Kick the scale to the curb?

2011-04-13T05:08:00.000-07:00

Whether one weighs and the frequency of such is a highly individual preference. I've done it all - from weighing multiple times a day to not weighing for years. And I've learned a few things over the years about how I relate to that blasted thing.

For all of my adult life after I lost control over the near-anorectic 105-110 lb body, I've been heavy for my size. So the number on the scale played mind games with me at times making me think I was fatter than I actually was. (Coupled with distorted body image).

Then there's those days. You've been eating well, exercising, etc., you wake up feeling pretty great, and you step on the scale expecting it to go down a pound or two and lo and behold, you're up a pound. You tell yourself it's water weight from the salty food or TOM or whatever, but it's like a cloud following you around all day overhead. When I think about that I get angry with myself. How can a pound or a number on the scale dictate one's mood for an entire day? But it did.

So, as I've shared many times, I didn't weigh the entire time of the major part of my weight loss and beyond - I first faced the scale about 2 years ago, over a year and a half after deciding to do something about my weight. I've also shared that it was a shocker. I knew it would be a higher number than I'd like, but I really expected to see a number in the low 180's or maybe the high 170's. Two oh nine. Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! For around a year and a half after that I tinkered with my eating and weighed regularly. I cannot do the every day thing. The most I've done is twice a week. Usually once a week.

I now believe that if one can muster the mental mindset not to let daily fluctuations play with one's head, they are preferable to periodic weighings. Why? Well, I did find myself getting caught up in "eating to the scale". IOW if I weighed Mondays and wanted an indulgence on Tuesday, I might schedule a cheat early in the week to make sure I was back to a few VLC days before the weigh-in.

After wrapping my head around the weight I employed a number of strategies and managed to shed around 10 more pounds. I've pretty much been at my current weight +/- 2-3 lbs for around a year and a half, rock solid steady for the past year. As such, this summer I tried a more relaxed approach to eating and stopped weighing. I think I've weighed myself three times in the past 6 months. Weighing all the time was just getting so tedious for me. Shunning the scale made me focus on feeling good ... if that makes any sense.

I felt like I was gaining a little of late (mostly due to being a bit more sedentary of late) so I hopped on the other day. I'm on the up side (201) of my "true weight" of 199. I'm fine by this, but I'm glad I "faced the music".

Bottom line, much as I'd like to, I'll not be permanently tossing the scale. I think this is where I went wrong the last oh-so-many times. Once things began to slide, I avoided facing it head on, and before long the rebound snowballed. This time I had one strategy already in place: I wear my "skinny jeans" often. Hubby sometimes says "why don't you change and be comfortable" but I AM comfy in my jeans. Don't get me wrong - I'm in my pj's now and will be until I leave the house today. But when I return later in the day I'll leave my street clothes on until it's almost time for bed. But if the clothes feel a little snug or I find myself deliberately dreading what the scale might say, I force myself to hop on.

What I've learned is that me and the scale don't always coincide. There are times I've felt bigger when the scale has moved down, and vice versa. So ultimately I go by how I look and feel in my favorite clothes. But that said, regaining what was probably 100 lbs lost begins with 5 lbs. In this regard, I'm not ready to toss the scale, but it's not a focus for me.

When I can focus a bit more on me, I'm gearing up for a push. I'm getting out those goal jeans. I won't weigh. I figure it worked before. AND I'll go back to VLC for a bit!! Surprised? Shouldn't be :-) I'll be doing my customized version of Lyle McDonald's Rapid Fat Loss plan. Yeah ... the dreaded low fat low carb diet that is soooooo "dangerous". I'll be "eating" plenty o fat: body fat!

Speak power to food

2011-04-09T10:24:00.000-07:00

You know that radical saying about speaking truth to power? This is a little twist on that.

This post is inspired to one of Dr. "Heartscan Blog" Davis' recent posts: Have Some More

Wheat, via exorphin effects, is an appetite stimulant. Eat a whole wheat bagel or bran muffin, you want another. You also want more of other foods. You also want something to eat every two hours due to widely-swinging insulin-glucose responses: blood sugar high followed by a sharp downturn that triggers a powerful impulse to eat (thus the cravings for a snack at 9 and 11 a.m. after a 7 a.m. breakfast).

If wheat is a stimulant of appetite, then removing it should yield reduced appetite and reduced calorie intake. That is precisely what happens.

Note the absolutism of his statements. You WANT - as in you WILL want - no ifs ands or buts. I think something definitely different for me this past go round was to take the power back from food.

The reality of this whole exorphin thing is that the content is so miniscule as to be irrelevant - unless you think they are addictive and then through the placebo effect, you will find yourself losing control eating wheat or any food. It's the diet mentality - you want or crave what you can't have.

I think back on my low fat diets - I ate sandwiches for lunches most times. When I went off and binged I didn't crave more wheat bread, that's for sure!! Instead if I ate ice cream - no wheat in there - I would certainly want another bowl and could darned easily snarf down a whole container if I wasn't careful.

When my friends/relatives that still smoke (sadly still) start binging on eggplant and tomatoes, or I see wheat junkies snorting straight flour, I'll believe this whole wheat - let alone all carbs - is/are addictive thing. Until then I'll continue to share that if you change your mindset, you CAN absolutely control eating just about ANY food. Drugs and alcohol are a different story where abstinence is necessary. Why? Because they do alter one's mind and impair judgment so that psychological addiction can take over even once one has broken their physical addiction. I've seen scant evidence of physical addiction in humans in anywhere near normal consumption levels/patterns, so we're left with the reality that food addictions are psychological in nature. I'm a former binge eater. I no longer do it. I'm a former carbophobic who would definitely overeat carbs in past low carb incarnations. I no longer do.

During my "cheating" weight loss, I did not overdo on carby cheats. Now I am very well in control eating around 75g starch (and a little sugar) carbs on average a day.

I note several commenters agreeing that since they eliminated wheat they have less hunger/cravings. Umm... most of these also went Doc-approved VLC which necessarily means they are getting more protein than before. I believe most if not all of those who lose control around certain foods do so because they've set up a self fulfilling prophecy. If you think eating something is going to make you hunger or crave something ... it's going to!

So I went to a health club the other day ...

2011-03-30T10:38:00.000-07:00

I've only belonged to a health club one time in my life - for a year or so in my early 20's. Prior to that I had organized athletics to participate in in HS and a bit in college. After that I preferred the home route if anything. I've never been a big fan of working out in public.

So anyway, hubby and I had some time to kill the other day and I've really been wanting to add some "sport" back into my life. While constructing posts about me and my history I was reminiscing in my mind a bit over that period when I was not quite a perfect weight for me, but was very fit and lookin' good ... post the eating disorders for the most part. It was the era of racquetball!

I used to play in several leagues and play with friends as well. So in addition to doing Nautilis and some Lifecycle/Stairmaster stuff, I played several hours of raquetball a week and wallyball too (volleyball on a racquetball court). Fun fun fun. As a former athlete of modest accomplishment (I was never scholarship material but good enough to have some trophies and ribbons), I always loved sports and competing. That period in my life rekindled what I had abandoned due to weight gains in college, etc.

In prep for my sprint triathlon - that I want to do more for accomplishing a goal of completing one 20 years after completing my first and only one - I started thinking of adding in some more enjoyable activities. When I trained for that one 20 yrs ago, I also played intramural volleyball and softball several times a week. Fun fun fun.

I don't think softball is for me anymore (shoulder injury makes throwing very difficult) I also find volleyball hard to find leagues to play in. Too many rec leagues don't play with real rules which is super annoying for anyone who is used to doing so, and those more serious tend to be too competitive. Racquetball has faded from the scene. Many clubs haven't even bothered to disguise how they've converted courts to exercise class rooms and such. The very few who offer it are way out of my price and/or driving range. I'm not looking to go to state competitions or anything!!

I've looked in my area before and come up pretty empty for anything reasonable, save Bally's 1/2 hour away Not big into the Bally's scene! So since I hadn't looked in a while I Googled on a whim. I found a place that's near my work and not far from home that has courts! They also offer Zumba, Yoga & Pilates. I'm not big on such classes generally as I'd rather do this sort of stuff alone with a DVD, but it's nice to know.

We decide to check it out. Walking in the entrance I was transported back a quarter century!! They have 4 courts. They're not impeccably maintained with perfectly buff floors and pristine white walls, but neither did they look dilapidated with warped/separated floor boards. One was in use. Next, the staff was "normal" slightly older gents. Much as I admire those who can sport Adonis/Barbie physiques, I've never really felt inspired to go to a club staffed by these types. It was a quiet time so there weren't many folks about, but there was one trainer floating around, a couple of women and a few men in the weight rooms.

And then my most nostalgic moment happened. We enter the second of the weight rooms on our tour of the facilities, and there they were. Nestled amongst a veritable potpourri of resistance training equipment ... a no-longer shiny vintage Nautilis circuit. Goshers whatta flashback! I'm not looking to discuss the pros and cons of such, just saying it was there is all. Regardless of showing their age, the machines I had to hop on to try were well maintained. Doing leg extensions had some memories flooding back.

I think I freaked out even my husband who has long since ceased being impressed by my strength. Ever since I loaded a washer and dryer onto his old Dodge 2500 by myself there's little that surprises him anymore! But I hopped on a lat pull-down (behind head) and pulled 150 lbs. Then as a lark he put me on a row machine (straight, pull towards) . He set it at 196 lbs. I pulled it successfully. I'm not even sore over this. Wish I could say the same for my thighs LOL.

Bottom line with that, although we were originally looking for just racquetball, I left feeling excited to join and weight train too.

I think I just might :-)

Become a Foodie to Lose Weight

2011-03-07T04:48:00.000-08:00

Growing up I have no recollection of being obsessed with food. My parents were health nuts of sorts, there were very few sweets in the house and no junk food like chips and such. Salad dressing? Oil & vinegar or lemon juice, no creamy stuff. Mayo? Nah. Granola, one of the only sweets, was used more like nut toppings on a fruit smooth. Jelly was spread thin. Juices were diluted.

So when I reached my teens and got a little freedom (money from jobs, drivers' license) I did go a little haywire eating stuff I didn't have. But it wasn't binging. Still lunch at BK a few days a week, ice cream after practice, things like that, and going through puberty tacked on a few pounds.

My obsession with food began with that first diet attempt, and I won't rehash the whole eating disorder thing again. But it really is no way to live to obsess about your next allowed meal when you haven't even finished your first one. I was always a good baker, but cooking was never really my forte. In my young single days I sometimes cooked for myself, but more often than not I ate a Lean Cuisine than prepping something for myself when *on* a diet, and the fast food drive through was frequented quite a bit when I was *off* the diet.

As the years went by I learned to make a few "signature dishes" - but most of these were special occasion type fare, not foods for daily consumption. When I got married, the hubby and I would cook a real meal maybe 2-3 days/week and the rest take out or some prepared convenience food from the freezer.

I'm not even sure exactly when or why, but we started watching Food Network several years ago. Now, when one has a weight problem you would think that watching shows where they're cooking stuff all day long would not be the brightest idea ever to be had. But for me it has been part of the solution.

Our first inspiration was Alton Brown's Good Eats show. Alton appeals to my inner geek and has a sense of humor I appreciate (I love his food police!). More importantly, in the context of recipes, he teaches cooking basics. Things like sweating vs. carmelizing onions, thickening, etc. My favorite "recipe" of Alton's is his burgers - 5 oz. use 80-85% beef mixed with 1/2t salt per pound. In any case, we have learned a lot from Alton (we age our own prime rib these days too!). We follow few recipes, but incorporated more techniques.

So we also like cooking competitions like Top Chef and Next FN Star, although unfortunately these have become more drama centered than food featuring. Still ... get ideas. And we're huge fans of Diners, Drive-ins & Dives (Guy Fieri) and Throwdown (Bobby Flay). Mind you, most of the foods highlighted on those shows are WAY out of my calorie range for daily consumption. But they have taught me what really goes into the foods, even at "home cooking" type establishments. Whether counting calories or carbs, there's a lot more of both in everything not specifically billed as "diet fare".

I'm a firm believer that the engineered palatability of mass produced foods -- be they McD's or the more "acceptable" family restaurants like Olive Garden and Ruby Tuesdays -- contributes greatly to our obesity epidemic. But palatability is nothing new - there have been great chefs and their delectable concoctions around for forever. Somehow, however, along with the palatability that must be incorporated into mass produced foods, comes extra calories from fat, sugar, starch or all three. I am just amazed how a rather small side order of loaded mashed potatoes can even get to almost 1000 calories, but that is the calorie count for that dish at TGI Fridays!!

So anyway, I would say that hubby and I are now both certifiable foodies. It's very rare these days for us to eat out or do take out because there's almost nothing we can't make better at home. When we make it at home, we control what goes into our foods. When you're a foodie, you get to cater to your tastes, which, thankfully, are similar for hubby and I. There's almost nothing we can expect to get better these days in a restaurant than we can make for ourselves. The delectability of our creations keeps us from going the lazy takeout route. And we always make a lot. This, too, may sound counterproductive, but the bennies are twofold: 1. When you eat out or take out, the portion size is predetermined. I'm a big fan of the doggie bag, but y'all probably know that certain line that gets crossed where there's not enough left to justify the db, so even though you're full you eat the rest to avoid waste (but not avoid waist!). This never happens in my home! 2. Easy leftovers. It's work to make our bolognese sauce, so we make several quarts at a time and freeze it. It's just as easy to microwave my to die for beef stew as it is to microwave a can of Dinty Moore.

Whether calorie or carb or fat conscious or whatever, we get to control things. No sugar goes in our tomato-based sauces and we drain the fat from the ground beef. I miss neither that are in jarred sauces. My sauce is naturally thick b/c I use concentrated tomato puree, no thickeners needed. I know how much butter and olive oil goes on our herb roasted baby potatoes. I control the type of fat in my enchiladas and the like and can kick my sauce up a few notches in heat. If I'm going to eat something "fattening", you can count on my version being far less so, but no less satisfying and delicious than restaurant fare.

The food obsessions of my former self have all but disappeared.

So, we make great food at home these days. It's cheaper, healthier and we're a combined over 200 lbs lighter as a result!

The Amuse Bouche

2011-03-02T05:08:00.000-08:00

My husband and I are huge fans of the Food Network and cooking competition shows on that network or Bravo, etc. Although, less so the latter as most have become more about personality conflicts and celebrity judges and such rather than the food created. In any case, we get a lot of ideas from this programming, and once or twice a year will go out for a special meal at a nice restaurant featured on some program.

I remember one episode of Top Chef where the Quickfire Challenge was to create an amuse bouche. Essentially a one bite appetizer to "amuse the mouth". In some restaurants, this is offered compliments of the chef while you await the meal (sometimes more than a bite), but not on the appetizer menu.

I got to thinking about this recently as regards my general practice of enjoying anything my heart/head desires in small amounts. Really, when you think about it, it's the first bite or two that are the most enjoyable. After that, each additional bite loses something.

I "amuse my mouth" these days with small bites. Lindor Truffles (the black ones) have been my chocolate amusement for years now. Three small/normal bites of anything does the trick.

Planned Cheats

2011-03-01T08:39:00.000-08:00

I received the following email from a reader recently and have received similar. So, even if I've said some of this stuff before, I thought to answer the questions in a blog post. Lots may be repeats of prior posts and such, but can't hurt to put it in one place!

Hi CarbSane,

First of all, congratulations on your weight loss and your very informative blogs. You have a superb command of the English language.

I'm planning on starting a vlc diet.

Please tell me about your planned cheats, how often and what you eat.

Other questions: Do you count calories and do you exercise?

Any additional information on your weight loss journey that you wish to share will be greatly appreciated.

Cheers,

Well first THANKS!

I basically looked at Atkins Induction level carbs (<20g) as my default way of eating during my weight loss. I really wanted to fashion a plan for myself that would be as flexible as possible and not make me feel deprived or like "dieting" was getting in the way of enjoying life. But I wanted to maintain an accountability/control factor in there. So I knew my biggest trouble would be impulse eating which led to abandoning efforts in the past. KEY was to abolish "diet mentality" thoughts from my head. Perhaps "cheat" wasn't the best term to use, but that was what I called it knowing in my mind this was not license to go off the deepend off the *overall* plan.

So how often did I cheat? I don't have an answer for this. I know some follow plans where one meal per week or one day every few weeks or whatever. If you're a schedule-type person, go for it. I preferred, rather, to put my nose to the grindstone, so to speak, every day I could, but planned cheats for every social occasion/vacation, and every now and then for "date night" with the hubby. My goal with cheats was to simply stand my ground with the weight loss. If I were to have ended up binging or eating enough to gain real weight (not water weight which is super deceiving with VLC) I would have altered the strategy. For me, it was a carb DAY, not a meal. Why? Because I think if one eats a high fat low carb breakfast and lunch, for example, and a high carb dinner (probably "high fat" too), that's a recipe to exceed calories.

My cheat days would generally involve skipping breakfast, light lunch and whatever I wanted for dinner. If I eat breakfast on a cheat day though, I make sure to get my protein in. In the initial 10 months of the bulk of my losses I had one shorter (5 days) and one longer (12 days if memory serves) cheat in addition to holiday dinners and a few days. It probably would average out to like a day every 2 weeks or so?

Here were my rules:

ALWAYS planned. This could mean waking up in the morning and having my hubby ask me if we could have pizza that night, or it could mean planning for an upcoming weekend or vacation.
Establish a date-certain of when the cheat would end. This was especially important for longer cheats. I was very realistic as well. The last thing you want to do while traveling back from vacation is worry over eating to a certain plan. So I would just add a day to the end of that. OTOH, nothing wrecks an effort more than extending things past when needed. So if I had a cheat weekend, Monday morning was back to VLC.

NO binging. If you binge, this means you're in diet-mindset. For me, the beauty of this was to get me out of that. Eat what I want but mindfully and NO stuffing.
Eat quality food. Don't "waste" a cheat on something crappy. This doesn't mean everything need be 5-star quality food. But if you want fries and McD's is *da bomb* for you, don't do McC's from the freezer. I have maybe 5 dishes I cheated on most.

No, I don't count calories but I am mindful of portions. And on my VLC days I ate lowER fat than most seem to these days and stayed clear of lots of added fats piled on. I didn't count carbs eating pretty "clean". Beef, fish, chicken, occasional pork or lamb and other seafood, low carb veggies and the occasional LC wrap. Quite a bit of tuna and cottage cheese. Nuts and hard cheese too. No "product" except for the occasional shake in my coffee in lieu of cream. Splenda in my morning coffee. Real Lindor Truffles (5g carb each!) or a squirt of real whipped cream right from the can on occasion. I don't go for lots of LC recipes as I think it kept the calories down to eat more plain and the cheats kept me from wanting to stray.

Exercise. Hmmm. NO! For the bulk of the losses early on, nothing. Kept meaning to, but my issues from the previous weight loss had me keeping putting that off. In retrospect I don't think this was such a bad thing. Now? Still no in the formal sense, but I keep deliberately active (shoveling alone has been huge this winter!) and credit this immensely for not regaining.

That's all for now. I'm overdue for an update!

Are you addicted to losing weight?

2011-02-22T05:31:00.000-08:00

Looking back on my life as a yo yo, I don't think I ever consciously wanted to go up and down, but I can't help but wonder if some of the "thrill" of losing weight didn't play into it.

As AMAZING as maintaining my weight loss has been, it's just not as gratifying on a day-to-day basis as when one is successfully losing weight. Nobody says "congrats on your maintenance" every few weeks. People notice changes, not sameness. No doubt folks notice I've maintained, but few verbalize it. There's not that "wow you look fantastic" when you're in that slinky dress. If anything there's a paranoia that sets in. I remember last summer feeling very self conscious at a family reunion. I knew I had lost a little bit more weight from the previous year but ... nobody said anything. Did I look fatter? Whassup with that? Where's the adulation? Being told how great you look on a regular basis can most certainly get addictive ... and when that stops (and it will inevitably at least taper considerably) then what?

Then there's the thrill of accomplishment. Again - sticking to a plan, defying the odds, etc. etc., perhaps winning a challenge. It's like losing weight is an Olympic sport sometimes and it's great when you're "winning".

But you get there - or maybe not all the way "there" - and then what? If you don't make it all the way, ultimately are you a failure? Without the regular feedback and adulation what's to keep you motivated?

I do think this plays at least a part in recidivism. For me, the yo yo was an extension of my binge/fast bulimic phase. Feeling all in control when successfully dieting and losing weight with all the ensuing positive feedback then undoing it all. Were my regains just extended "binges" even though I'd stopped the massive stuffing of my face to the point of bursting stuff? I'm thinking perhaps so. I'm not saying I consciously regained the weight each time, but being a "weight loss success story" wears off surprisingly rapidly. Then what? Now that you don't have the excess weight "holding you back" .....

I've notice something interesting ...

2011-02-10T05:30:00.000-08:00

... about those critics of mine with the gumption to come over here and post comments.

I'm some sort of "insane" person who rambles on, couldn't get out a single coherent sentence in my interview, and is the most obnoxious blogger around for daring to use a $ in Taubes' name or challenging his integrity as a science journalist.

These people come to my blog and instruct me on essentially what it is I should be writing for their proper consumption. Supposedly the current content is not to their standards, but they want more of it in some way. Specifically, I'm not offering up a sufficiently laid out meal plans, an explanation of the obesity epidemic and treatment thereof.

So .... something I'm saying here, nervous laughter on my first ever interview of this nature and all, is causing these people to be curious about what this "anonymous female blogger" has to say.

I'm not in the *business* of giving out diet advice, although perhaps some day I, too, will write a book on what worked for me that *might* work for you. I also don't see why there was any need for Taubes' "alternate hypothesis" to begin with. We're eating more on average than we used to, and, if anything moving less with modern day conveniences. Therefore we're getting fatter. However we get fat, we need to eat less and, perhaps move more (this is hugely helpful for preventing regain in the formerly obese) to get thinner and continue to do so to stay thinner. The rest is all about strategies to accomplish this, address other health issues, etc.

If I'm to offer any advice here and now it is to REALLY get to know yourself. Find something you can commit to for the long run. If that's a moderate plan, accept it's just going to take longer ... but you'll get there. If that's a more extreme plan, make sure you have that motivation to stick to it for the long term. I can't think of anything in my life I did worse to my health, body and mind than going on that diet rollercoaster for 2+ decades. Low carb took me up - waaay up - the two biggest rebound hills at the end. Fact of MY life. I see in many corners I was not alone.

Belated: My Superbowl Sunday Menu

2011-02-08T05:36:00.000-08:00

I've commented on similar before, but I think this is a slight twist. I noticed many low carbers spend quite a bit of time planning how they're going to "de carb" various festivities. In the end they end up eating more. If there's some little cheat in there, the ensuing gain will no doubt get blamed on that thing and not the thousand calories of dips.

I actually think I may have even lost weight on some of my "cheats" because those days were always eating whatever "regular" foods I prepared or were served at a party. MINDFULLY.

I, for one, definitely eat less of foods I know have high caloric density and are easy to overeat. I'm careful to watch portions. But party foods like dips and deviled eggs and ribs and such fit nicely into low carb plans. Then you might add in nuts, cheese chips, kale chips, cauliflower "popcorn" or cauliflower "potato" dishes. Problem is some of these are higher in calories than the foods they replace, they don't have a lot of protein in them, and are that kind of foods that are easy to overeat. They're not called "munchies" for nuttin'! In my former low carb days I'm quite sure I would have patted myself on the back about sticking to my low carb plan and eaten away because, heck, it's LC!

So what did I have during the game this year? Well, I had a little beef enchilada filling left over and I've had a hankering for cheese/salsa dip for a while. So I went "junk": Tostitos scoops with Velveeta/salsa hot dip or enchilada filling & sour cream. And a bunch of celery and pepper strips for fillers. I took the scoops I planned to eat out of the bag and put them in a bowl. Made the dip a little more saucey/less cheesy. And I enjoyed. Back to no junk for the trunk the next day ;-)

BTW, the commercials sucked and that Doritos one was just CREEPY!!!

Living LC with an HC spouse/s.o./family/etc.

2011-01-14T07:48:00.000-08:00

I thought I would exhume this post I started a long time ago, as I've again been doing some thinking on contributors to my success this go round with LC.

A little background: I am married with no kids. Hubby and I have varied schedules and eating habits. I'm one who can snack a bit here or there and never eat a meal (indeed doing LC I tended towards this more), hubby OTOH likes to eat at least a "real dinner", he often forgets to eat or doesn't have much of an opportunity to have something good for him (we're working on that still!!) most days when he's working. My hubby has gotten to almost 300 lbs but lost most of that weight w/o changing his diet one iota (his work can be quite physical).

So, Atkins stint 1, we both went on the diet. I was scrupulous in following all the rules. I think hubby lasted around a month with me, but after that he reverted to his former habits. It was a bit of a bone of contention and probably contributed to my going off the plan a few months later.

Atkins stint 2 several years later I went it totally alone. It became more of a bone of contention because I wouldn't be hungry for dinner or make something he would enjoy too and things of that nature. On the flip side, he seemed to always be sabotaging me, which I know wasn't his intent as much as wanting to eat as he pleased and have my company in doing so! This stint lasted quite a while with a few periods when I did fall off plan, etc. While the hubby-compatibility thing wasn't a major reason I abandoned LC, it certainly contributed to it.

So this time when I decided to try one more time, we had a little strategy session in place. Here was the basic plan:

1. Hubby could request cheats so long as he did so by the morning of the request, and so long as he would accept *no* without whining and asking over and over. The compatibility factor here was part of the reason for the cheating plan. Just because I can't have pizza on LC effectively meant he never got to have it. And, frankly, I have no use for eating just the toppings off a real pizza, nor attempting any sort of homemade LC version.

2. Hubby would keep junk out of the house as much as possible and not eat it in front of me. Early on in the process this one was important, but after a while this got relaxed. Doritos in the house don't entice me to binge, nor does his eating them. I may have a couple. No biggie. Mostly not.

3. Have a "real dinner" whenever possible. It is surprisingly easy to do this with one or more people eating LC and others getting their carbs. How? Well, we eat meat/fish/chicken and veggies, and then I just prepare a starch for him. It's easy enough to nuke those plastic-wrapped potatoes, or fix instant mashers or other carb side dish. Maybe I'm lucky, but somehow I just shut off my desire for these foods so was never tempted. I've even turned him onto some LC alternatives - he makes burger wraps with LC wraps, I make rockin' enchiladas with LC tortillas. It helps that we're both not breakfast eaters, but this strategy would work equally well for any meal.

4. I wouldn't go around obsessing over carbs or getting preachy about them, etc.

So ... nothing ground-breaking there, but just thought I would share. For many of us, having others in our lives join us in the lifestyle is not in the cards, but how to balance doing what we feel is right and healthy for us with enjoying those we love? Sometimes I just felt like a royal PITA with my restrictions, or that hubby was being one not supporting my every whim. If we're constantly trying to make converts of our loved ones, or feeling like the lone person swimming in the other direction of a crowd, that just makes for stress and discontent. Peaceful co-existence can be worked out.

This has gotten even easier of late as I've relaxed my daily carb intake. We pretty much eat much the same foods these days when we eat together ... I just eat a bit more of the meat and veggies, he eats a bit more of the carbs. He still eats too much crap, I eat my weird stuff when he's not home ;-)

Orthorexia

2011-01-13T10:27:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: Coming from an eating disorder background myself, please do not view this as thinking they are a laughing matter. The health implications are NO laughing matter. But one sign of recovery from such things is an ability to recognize one's absurdities and hopefully be able to laugh at them. So .....

I think this might be a first for my personal blog here to link to another blog, but Matt Stone's recent post was just too funny to pass up on: The New Eating Disorders.

He discusses a new disorder of orthorexia, "which is, in a nutshell, having an irrational infatuation with healthy eating." But Matt kicks it up a notch taking a stab at the purists in the veggie, LC, paleo, raw food, etc. movements. One commenter really hit the nail on the head with her disorders eventually ending with "blame-myself-o-rexia". That was pretty much me -- I can do anything extreme for even a relatively long time, but eventually I would crack. Of course I just lacked discipline!

I've blogged before how LC finally "cured" my eating disorders because I proved to myself that I could eat all those "fattening foods" without gaining and even losing weight! But the first two stints on LC I never made it out of induction. I was PETRIFIED to take a bite of a french fry lest it undo days of low carbing. This sets the stage for an eating disorder of another sort ... call it carboulimia if you will. Obsession over every half gram of carbs to where if someone eats 22g vs. 20g will send them into an all out carb binge, vowing to return to even fewer than 20g the next day. Thankfully this never happened for me, but worse yet, I just drifted off, could never fully re-commit, and gained massive amounts of weight.

So it's food for thought if you find yourself getting stressed by a lifestyle that is too restrictive.

2010 Rap Up

2011-01-01T02:18:00.000-08:00

Like just about everyone, I thought I would jot down a few thoughts as a new year is upon us. I can hardly believe it's 2011 already. Wasn't that Y2K thing just like yesterday?

Without a doubt the biggest success for me is maintaining my weight loss. I've seen some NSV's so I must be recomposing a bit despite not much movement on the scale. When I return from vacation I do plan to give this another push. But for someone who was never the same weight (except when ~300 lbs) for an entire month my entire adult life, I cannot express how monumental this is. As I pack for warmer climates, I don't have to stress over finding out of season clothes b/c the summer stuff doesn't fit. Wardrobe security is a wonderful thing!

The best part is that this year maintaining was relatively easy and I've been able to eat more "normally" on a daily basis with a carb count ~75g avg. I do find myself defaulting down to VLC some days and that's OK too. Mindful eating and making sure I get my protein in is working.

Although I didn't accomplish much in the way of formal exercise, I went from being able to do like 8 "girlie" pushups to making the 100 and then onto real pushups I got up to quite a few. I do need to revisit those, just being lazy. But 2010 was a year of great physical accomplishments. I don't feel my age, I feel younger than I did 10 years ago and I'm able to do so much w/o feeling overexerted or getting swollen ankles and such. My wood pile workouts have been empowering. I would love to try for something like a sprint tri (it would be 10 yrs since the last one), but not sure running is ever going to be for this post-obesity bod of mine. We'll see. I've got some thinking to do on that while I'm away.

So, how 'bout that low carb? I consider myself semi-Paleo, semi-LC, semi-Perfect Health these days. What I'm doing is working and I feel great. I may tinker with things a bit, perhaps do IF for a stint to see if I can't lose some more weight. Again, we'll see. I'm in that strange place where there's weight to lose but no urgency to lose it.

EDIT!! WOW, I can't believe I left out starting my blogs! I thank all of you for reading and contributing to some great discussions here. I know I've learned a lot and it's gratifying to have you great folks reading my work and making me think even more. Even though there are far more popular blogs out there, never did I dream I would have so many readers so soon. It's really nice not to just be talking to myself over here ;-)

Looking forward to a great 2011!

R.I.P. Isabelle Caro

2010-12-31T06:01:00.000-08:00

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1342580/Anorexic-model-Isabelle-Caro-appeared-shock-fashion-campaign-dies-28.html

I remember hearing of that ad campaign. Too young. So sad.

Moving More

2010-12-27T06:55:00.000-08:00

With GT's new book coming out there's certainly a resurgence in the air of ELMM (Eat Less Move More) doesn't work for weight loss. In voices of superiority LC'ers will be proclaiming that they won't be doing any cardio and things like that. The "conventional approach" doesn't work in the long run as evidenced by the fact that a large percentage of people end up gaining their weight back. This all sounds dandy and defiant and oh how much we all know better. I think this is sad, because most of us really DO need to move more for more than just weight. Why is it that we hear heavier low carbers touting the WOE for health but we don't hear them embracing the role of activity in health?

Still, regular exercise has been demonstrated to ward off gaining to begin with, gaining less, and helps to prevent regain. I don't buy the claims of those who diligently exercise but get fat. Anyone I know that actually does this is either at or close to an ideal weight. It's not so much the calories burnt exercising, but one study I blogged on demonstrated that it kept NEAT expenditures up. I still don't do formal exercise here, but that doesn't mean I'm not moving a whole lot more. It may sound so silly, but in going from my LR to the kitchen I pass the stairs up to the 2nd floor. It is not unusual for me to run up and down the stairs as I go by. I almost always "run" up the stairs. When I take the garbage out, I walk a lap around my house. I'll even do a "Flashdance" thing while cooking. I am the keeper of the firewood for the most part and do a lot of remodel/repair projects on this old home we live in now and in the former home.

I think it is no great mystery why I'm not struggling with regain anymore. But doing what I do has reaped many rewards aside from weight maintenance. Yesterday was a day of reaping those rewards.

If you're not in the US, you may not have heard that the East Coast was just hit by a blizzard and we got at least a foot of snow where I'm at. With the wind, we've got some huge drifts out there this morning. But since I was listening to Food Network in the background of puttering around on Sat, I was blissfully unaware of what was coming. So, unfortunately, I did nothing on Sat and hubby worked yesterday, so it was all on me to prep. I had to clean out the bed of our truck that still had a table saw and several pieces of plywood in it, along with a huge chunk of ice stuck to the "caved in" bed cover. I unloaded and put the lumber and saw in the garage. Then I got up into the bed and jumped back down a few times using a cooler of hot water to melt the ice chunk enough to dislodge it and slide it off. Resecured the bed cover. Next up, we have one of those plastic sheds that blew partly over (leaning on a short fence/bushes behind it) a while ago that we just never got around to righting. So, I took a giant tarp and climbed my ladder and got the thing covered up. It took a few attempts to be able to get the ties right quickly enough to beat the wind blowing it back off, but mission accomplished. (It held! And we had WIND). Next up I had to bring wood up and to where it's protected under our deck. Our woodpile is about 50' from the house and there's a small hill between. Here is where I do my "HIIT". First I chuck the wood into the wheelbarrow (one of those deep big ones), then I run the wheelbarrow up the hill, then chuck the wood onto the deck, and stack. Repeat. I brought 8 loads including some of the bigger logs. By now snow was accumulating so going back and forth I swept/shoveled off the driveway and path to front door 3 times. Then I drove one vehicle over to folks house and walked back. Shoveled the driveway and path one last time to park hubby's car.

I'm amazed that I'm not even sore this morning as I have one more cuppa Joe before heading out to help hubby shovel us out. The drifting looks like we've got over 2 feet in places.

Being more active definitely impacts all aspects of my life besides weight. If I didn't have the things I do around the house, I most certainly would do something more formal, and I'm thinking of doing that anyway when I return from vacation. In the meantime, I feel an awesome sense of accomplishment from yesterday's work. Back in 2007 I would have just had to pray for the best that the snow didn't ruin too much stuff in that shed, probably get the stuff out of the truck but not get that bed cover fixed properly, make the hubby bring in firewood in the dark after a hard day's work and shoveled the path in two stints getting out of breath.

It feels GOOD.

Carnie Wilson

2010-12-26T05:48:00.000-08:00

OK, I'll admit it. I watched Carnie's reality show "Unstapled" on GSN. Not every episode but enough. As to her hosting of The Newlywed Game, I'm pretty agnostic -- could take her or leave her. But Unstapled gave a little insight on her weight struggles and the causes. This included an episode or two on Dr. Oz.

I have particular empathy for someone who loses a lot of weight and regains it. It was definitely a different pain for me to have lost 60 some odd pounds and feel like a whole new person only to regain it back (and then some). Don't get me wrong, obesity is difficult, but it absolutely killed me to discover that the "fat pants" I had saved as a reminder were too tight. How could I have let this happen? There's something more "real" about one's size when you've reduced and then gotten back there if that makes any sense. And could I go through it all again?

Unstapled (AFAIK, they were just playing on words, she didn't have WLS reversed - can it be?) was about her life in general, but an underlying theme was her efforts to lose some of the weight she regained with two pregnancies. Viewers got some insight into why many of us become obese and it's not insulin spikes. Interestingly she's bought into this notion that she has a sugar addiction, and yet nobody appears to have suggested LC to her. Or maybe they have. In any case, I think she lost like 6 or 8 pounds during the filming of that show which was poo pooed by Dr. Oz and her trainer, etc. This bothers me. Obviously we have no idea what was going on behind the scenes, but she lost some weight so clearly she was moving in the right direction ... just not fast enough? Why is it that only quick weight loss and dramatic near-perfection are ever rewarded with support and encouragement? I know she was full of excuses to her trainer and Oz, etc., but she was right to say something about having lost a few pounds. Now maybe it was just water weight from a little "crash diet" a few days before the weigh in. But if so, they would have done better service to mention that. Otherwise it's a step in the right direction. This world is full of imperfect people who for one reason or another cannot stick to strict plans. Hello reflection in mirror here :-) But it's as if someone isn't going to be perfect, why bother at all? Perhaps it's the fact that she lost the weight so fast after the initial WLS so nothing short of those results will do. Dunno.

I think this all just added to her stress. If anything at least she wasn't gaining back more! But clearly being fired (or not renewed or whatever happened) from her Newlywed gig has taken a toll and she's packed on a lot more weight. I saw her on Fox & Friends singing with Wilson Philips for their new Christmas album and she's clearly gained more weight since the show (wearing black against a dark background obscured her body some, but the chin don't lie).

I wish her all the best and hope she can find a way to get her eating disorder under control. I so feel for where she is at right now. Hang in there Carnie!

My husband's jeans ... hee hee

2010-12-23T10:00:00.000-08:00

This is not relevant to anything, but just wanted to share.

I just went to get dressed and accidentally put my hubby's jeans on. They were too big by a mile. Well gee, CS, why should that be any surprise as women are smaller than men. Well, the reason is that at any size/weight I would never do this on purpose. Why? Because hubby definitely has the "chicken legs" physique. His butt and thighs are the last place he puts weight on, and when he gets a belly, he wears his pants below it. (This is why at his largest when his belly was self-admittedly HUGE, he still wore 44's - not small, but likely he had a 54" or larger "waist"). When I tried to get an idea of my size by trying on his pants when we were first married I was horrified because my thighs were TIGHT in the pant legs. I took solace in the fact that there was a gap in the back of the waist. But it was the last time I did that.

Hubby is not quite the size he was back when we first got married, but he's pretty darned close and there's no fat to be found on his legs. My thighs fill the pant legs no more than his appear to! Maybe a teensy bit, but wow! And although I feel like my belly is inordinately bigger than when I've been this size/weight before, I had a HUGE gap in the back of the waistband, and the butt bagged like crazy!

For a very long time I've not worn any of his tops except as work clothes. His old dress shirts go to my knees and make for a great "lab coat" as do old T's etc. for painting and such. When I was at my high weight I wore the same or larger size T's as he did. But I'm actually hubby's sized legs and butt? WOWZERS! This is huge ... er ... anti-huge for moi :):)

An Update of Sorts

2010-12-19T08:31:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty much holding steady here but haven't weighed. I still hate that thing, and prefer for the most part to go by how I feel and my "skinny clothes" fit. I have noticed one thing though as I've been eating more carbs. Every now and then I now get tempted by the stuff hubby has in the house that I don't usually eat (chips, artisan bread, etc.). I wouldn't call it a craving, just that when I was doing the strict VLC thing, I would just save those types of things for cheat days, or if I had like 2 Doritos it was just that. But now that I'm eating a few more carbs I find it easier to justify a little snack here or there. I've decided to make a deliberate effort to stop that. On days I'm going to have a little "junk" (and there will be times), it will replace the carbs I now normally eat, but on days I eat my "fill" of good carbs, there will be no junk. What I don't want to slip into is a state of complacency where I no longer make a distinction and drift. Not gonna happen!

Real Food & the Real Thing

2010-12-15T08:03:00.000-08:00

As my regular readers know, I follow some of the LC female "celebrities" quite a bit for tips and to see how long term low carbing is working for them. One of these is Dana Carpender. She made a post about eating "the real thing" a while back that had me thinking a bit how she misinterpreted what the lady's intent using that term meant. I can't find that post, but it went something like Dana mentioning eating an LC version of some sort of dessert, to which a lady replied that she would rather just have the "real thing". Dana took this to mean that her LC version was any less of a real food than a "real" cake would actually be and she proceeded to present the argument that the LC cake was more "real" than a regular one. Yes, most LC cakes are far more nutritious than their "real" commercial counterparts. Almond flour vs. white wheat flour, etc. But the use of artificial sweeteners vs. HFCS was a bit weaker argument. Even sugar alcohols are highly refined from barks!

Still, I think what the lady was getting at was a different thought process entirely, and one that I have embraced since relatively early in my low fat days. That is, if I'm going to eat something, I'm going to eat the version I would recognize as the "real" deal. At the time, if there was a low fat version of something I could enjoy as much as the food I was substituting for, I would eat it. But if there wasn't, my choices were to eat the real deal in moderate-to-small portions or not eat that food at all. I think the first food I applied this to would have to be butter. No amount of any of those low fat spreads, no matter how cleverly named and packaged or promoted by Fabio, can hold a candle to the flavor of real butter. I learned that I could get a load of flavor in a bowl of veggies from a pat of butter and some herbs. That was 30 cals.

FF to 2007 and I would say that when fashioning my cheating long term plan, the cheats were definitely reserved to have foods for which there was no good LC substitute. Chinese fried rice, for example. Don't go giving me cauliflower rice, it's not going to cut it. Or how about pizza? Give me a slice of the real deal any day over some LC crust thing that is not going to taste the same. Or give me one full slice over the toppings of an entire pie. I could generate a laundry list here. What I have found is that knowing I can have these on occasion leads me to almost never overindulge during the occasions I can. Now there are some LC alternatives (sandwich wraps and pitas come to mind) that are perfectly acceptable, and those I will eat, but I will eat a real Lindor Truffle or two (5g carb per folks!) before I'll even consider those sf chocolates with sugar alcohols in them (often far more expensive to boot!).

Now, I recognize my approach may not work for everyone, perhaps not even most, but it is worth trying rather than constantly seeking out LC substitute foods. Just as some low fatties were done in by overdoing it on the Snackwells just because they were low fat, so too are many low carbers done in by overdoing on LC snacks, that, frankly, often pack a significantly greater calorie whollop to boot. If I'm going to eat certain goodies, I'll make an allowance for the real thing (the longer I do this the more I realize it's the first few bites that make a difference anyway) rather than eating some substitute that is almost invariably going to leave me feeling a bit dissatisfied and/or I may rationalize overeating because it's low carb so AOK.

Dana hit on a related but slightly different topic with a recent blog post: It's all the same to me

(for the record, I was actually prompted to try to register at Dana's blog to share my thoughts on this, but for whatever reason nothing came of that via email notice or whatever)

In this post, Dana discusses how if she eats left over LC cake for breakfast, it's not "bad" because of all the real ingredients in the cake. Again, there is a point to be made that most LC cakes will have higher nutrient content than commercial alternatives. But I believe in this post Dana has actually hit on why she struggles so to keep her weight down despite eating low carb consistently.

What, my friends, is more "real" about almond meal than wheat flour? Paleo arguments aside that humans didn't have grains back then, both have had protective outer coverings removed and are ground up. Is whey protein, however high quality a protein it is, a "real" food? No, it is a highly processed, essentially partially pre-digested protein. Body builders tend to supplement this with another, more slowly digested, protein in shakes. (Perhaps this was why I've never been so hungry in a long time than on the shake weeks of Eades 6WC). So when one eats an LC cake made with almond meal, cocoa and artificial sweetener, eggs, whey, etc., yes, they're getting more protein and micronutrition than eating a piece of yellow cake made with Duncan Hines mix, but the are not eating "real food" (as in, in its most whole/natural state) by any stretch. These goodies pack a way bigger calorie punch than, say, a couple slices of bacon and a couple of eggs, etc. Even if the only difference is what our bodies need to do to extract them (e.g. chewing, enzymatic degradation, etc.). You are far less likely to overeat eggs and bacon in their natural state than to overeat a tasty sweet calorie dense LC baked goodie.

I would openly suggest to Dana that the "cure" for her struggles lies in what she does to drop a few pounds: e.g. eat mostly meat, eggs and LC veggies. Real foods in their real form.

I wouldn't dare suggest, well, heck, this is my blog so I will make the open suggestion. Have a few real carbs to go with your meals. If you "own them" rather than doing net-carb gymnastics ignoring calories you'll find you eat less. Surprise surprise! Many who have been low carbing far longer than I would be surprised how filling small portions of real carbs are after a while. Seriously, for all the mocking of how nobody could ever eat a "serving size" of rice, pasta, potatoes, etc. you may be shocked to discover even eating a full serving can be a challenge.

I'm almost done with reading the Jaminet's Perfect Health Diet book, but will be vacationing beginning of January. I hope to get the review done and posted over in the Asylum before then. One thing I've found totally awesome since being told of their website is being given "permission" to eat the "safe starches". Although I sometimes stray into the not-so-safe realm, I'm eating more real food (and less processed junk or even take out) than ever before. That's saying a lot because since going low carb (mostly) I had already made great strides.

Childhood Obesity and Eating Disorders

2010-12-08T07:13:00.000-08:00

I've seen a few snippets in the news of late that have me worrying over whether we're going to be seeing a new wave of eating disorders come down the pike really soon. The media is awash in stories obsessing over the obesity epidemic and its health implications. Our First Lady has made childhood obesity her cornerstone issue and routinely lectures us on the evils of certain foods, etc. Her focus, of course, is the children. I can't go to the doctor for a stubbed toe or a case of poison ivy without being weighed (and having my blood pressure taken), something which seems awfully wasteful of time and resources. Vending machines, bake sales and bringing cupcakes for birthday parties are being banned from schools. Videos of headless people with undulating bellies and robust rears accompany such stories on the TV. Kids are being sent home with BMI report cards as if a parent can't look at their child and assess whether they are of appropriate weight. Some moms are now even diluting breastmilk and formula for fear of their kids getting obese! It's getting a bit obsessively sick out there folks.

I sure do hope the Obama daughters escape unscathed, but I worry for them. Michelle has mentioned their BMI's publicly and at least one of them will be going through puberty soon if she hasn't already. There's got to be a lot of pressure on these girls to stay slim. Of course Michelle herself seems to yo-yo a bit at times. But we always see this family eating burgers, ice cream and other "junk". Don't get me wrong, those are usually vacation photo-ops, and who shouldn't be allowed an ice cream cone here and there. It's just that the public image doesn't fit the message, and I hope for the girls' sake Michelle thinks carefully about any further statements she may make about her daughters' weights. They have enough to contend with Mom crusading against obesity while they're in the public eye.

Although I've wondered over this generation of young women having less modesty about less than optimal bodies (flaunting the belly rolls for instance), I hoped that at least it was a sign of improving body images over less than perfect bodies ... a good thing, especially in light of all the photoshopping of already skeletal models (and calling size 12 women "plus sized" models) and such.

Two stories on FNC caught my attention recently. The first was a 13 y.o. girl who received a letter (with the whole class, unsealed) basically calling her fat. The classmates shared their letters and apparently there was a good deal of ribbing to go around. This girl was very upset by this. They interviewed her mother and showed pictures of a seemingly very normal sized young lady. Mom stated how this humiliation has caused her daughter to not eat at school anymore and to be overly self conscious to the point of wearing baggy sweatshirts in hot weather. Whether this is a bit of an exaggeration or not, it points to adults (school officials) often being very careless about how they address children (especially teenage girls) over issues of weight. I don't think any well-meaning concern over the "obesity epidemic" excuses such behavior. In my case, it was the comments of a coach, not even specifically to me but to our entire team, that precipitated my first obsession with weight. That same coach's praise at my weight loss helped solidify things in motion. Since none of us would ever have gone on to be elite athletes, the advice to lose 5 lbs (presumably to improve performance) was misguided in my (hindsight) opinion. So anyway, I do worry far more over girls of this age developing distorted body images than I do over the health of the teen or college-age girl sporting a few extra pounds. I look back of pictures of me when I thought I was *FAT*, and I simply wasn't. If I could have "seen" my true self then as I do now ..... I hope for some sanity in the childhood obesity thing. Only in obvious cases do I think the school should even get involved, but if they do it should be with the parents w/o the child even knowing.

The second story was even more disturbing as it involved 3 year old girls! Given game pieces shaped as girls of various weights/sizes, they preferred to choose the thinnest piece. That's not really so bad, but the study organizer reported that most of these girls were hesitant to adamant (my paraphrase) about not wanting to switch out their piece with her's. They didn't want to be fat. They already associated fat or even just normal-to-larger with negative connotations. This is disturbing to me. Other than the teasing we did of the one or two "fat kids" in elementary school, I do not recall having much of a concern about people's weights or my own until some time in junior high. For girls that young to already seem concerned really worries me.

Coming from a position of so many wasted things in my life because of my weight issues and eating disorders, I do not want to see even one young lady (or man for that matter) needlessly have to suffer like I did. I do so hope that we're not headed down a path of resurgence in the eating disorder epidemic.

OK ... rant over :)

Metabolisms Change ~ Respond or Regain!

2010-12-01T06:22:00.000-08:00

Lately there have been a few comments posted on my other blog promoting Dr. Linda Bacon. Bacon is a member of the fat acceptance crowd, and said commenter seems to have swallowed her "throw hands up in surrender" line hook, line and sinker. When you lose weight by any method, it means you have -- consciously or not -- reduced energy intake and/or increased energy expenditure. But the reduced intake and the reduced body mass (basal metabolism correlates with lean body mass) WILL result in a slower metabolism at a lower weight. This doesn't mean that eat less move more is somehow misguided advice!

While I spent many years being obese with all the accompanying stigmas, I do not see the "fat acceptance" movement being any more compassionate towards the obese in the end. If you're not unhealthy at a higher weight (e.g. normal blood lipids, blood pressure, etc.), then perhaps there's something to be said for just maintaining that weight and focusing on leading a productive and happy life. BUT, most of the obese are simply NOT healthy. I was relatively healthy, but it is not normal to get winded planting peas! Merely changing diet, if it doesn't produce sustained weight loss, will only go so far towards improving health. Sure, an (over)Nourishing Traditions type diet is better than the SAD, but if you're lugging around a ton of excess poundage, you're kidding yourself that this is a healthy state.

Anyway, what does this have to do with the title of this post? Well, apparently this whole "calories in/out doesn't work" and "diets don't work" etc. crowd looks at the long term success rates of various diet plans and concludes that because a discouragingly large proportion of people regain weight that the dietary advice to eat less and move more is somehow misguided. NONSENSE.

As someone who has previously regained but have now maintained the bulk of my losses for over two and a half years now (recap: First ~10 months lost most of the weight, have continued to lose very slowly since then and continue to do so to this day, I'm now more than three years into my lifestyle change), I think I can speak to this from experience ... no excuses.

Of course I think when we're obese it is tempting to take comfort in victim mentality. Nobody really likes to own up to their sloth and gluttony, but we just don't get obese without one or both to some degree. Be honest. Check out the Dansinger interview (from The Biggest Loser) regarding how much the contestants were eating before going on the show - 3000-4000 cal/day. A LOT of food.

YOU (and I) had our part in how we get/got the way we are/were. It wasn't the carb's fault, or the government's fault, or the fault of the makers of Snackwells and other garbage, or McDonald's fault.

WHY do diets ultimately fail for so many? I'll blog on other reasons for relapse another time, but this one is somewhat beyond our control. Metabolisms change. Many studies demonstrate that the formerly obese have slower basal metabolisms and expend less energy in general compared to weight-matched people who have never been obese. So, we have to face a few facts regarding this. I blogged previously about the Myth of a Maintenance Phase .... this being that once we get to where we were going we can't let up. The energy balance reality is that when your weight is reduced to a certain level through diet/exercise, you will naturally plateau out at energy balance! If you find yourself regaining at that level, you are either (a) kidding yourself that you're still following your plan, or (b) YOUR METABOLISM HAS CHANGED.

Now, (b) might not be fair. So, whatcha gonna do about it? Wait for some magic pill to come down the pike? Resign yourself to regain all of your hard fought losses and embrace your obesity? Rant and rail all over the internet that calories in/calories out is not true? I suppose these and many more options are out there. Or .... you can accept that your behavior played a part in constructing the metabolism you now have in your one and only body. You CAN increase your daily energy expenditure so as to be able to eat a bit more without regaining with exercise. You can simply eat even a bit less.

I think we've been brainwashed a bit on that last point by the diet/exercise industries and calorie formulas. Truth be known, most of us need far fewer calories than we have been led to believe. Mark Sisson has a sample menu over at his website. Now he states that he doesn't usually even eat every meal on most days and his totals, for a fairly active male, are 2500 cal. Most of us don't need nearly that much.

Since 2007, I've probably lost about 1/3rd of my high weight, gone through menopause (slows metabolism) and aged three years. I'm actually having NO difficulty maintaining my losses whatsoever (I struggle to get back into deficit consistently to lose a bit more). Occasionally I enjoy "bad foods", but I usually eat mindful (read: some might say small) portions most days. George Burns' secret to longevity was to "EAT HALF". Food for thought!

If one is not going to respond to their slower metabolism, they ARE going to regain, often even keeping up the same things they did to lose the weight. Again, does this invalidate the diet or calorie balance theory? No. It is the manifestation of the reality of metabolic adaptations, some of which we have no control over. Some of which we brought upon ourselves.

Respond appropriately, and don't regain. Remain in denial or defiance of reality, regain.

This time around I can tell you all that there is NO amount of food or anything that can replace how finally being in control of my stable body weight has made me feel and enhance my enjoyment of life. If at some point in the future I need to reduce intake further or exercise more, I'm going to find a way to do it. The alternative is simply not an option.

Do I have to employ my weight loss WOE for the rest of my life?

2010-11-29T10:52:00.000-08:00

Back in 2007 when I took the plunge, I had it firmly decided in my mind that, for better or worse, this was the last time I would go through this. If I were to regain I would learn to live with the weight. If my plan didn't result in the level of weight loss I aspired to, so be it. I'll never know if I would have kept to that self-pledge because, and maybe it was the finality of it all, I've got this maintenance thing down. But my eating has evolved over the past year and a half and it's had me thinking on this a bit.

It was in Spring '09 when my husband asked me, innocently enough, when I would start "eating normally" again. I reflexively said "never" ... or something like that this was my new normal. I meant that at the time, and could not have imagined back then that a year and a half later, I'm eating as differently as I am.

It's not a bad strategy to adopt a "dieting" strategy that is consistent with what you can sustain for the long run. This was, pretty much what I did. But there is wisdom in that saying about the definition of insanity being doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result.

In my case, I pretty much hit a brick wall of weight loss sometime in Fall '08. I am glad I wasn't weighing because there were small improvements on the clothing front. It was in Spring '09 I started looking on the web for solutions to bust through and lose remaining poundage.

For better or worse, the advice in LC circles at the time was almost universally:

Cut carbs more, go back to meat and veggies
Up your fat intake, you're not getting enough calories

Thing for me was, I had no problems eating VLC for rather long stints to no measurable results. Upping fat was pretty much a disaster for me except for when I did IF when I just couldn't eat all that much.

During Summer of '09 I did IF pretty religiously for 3 months ... this netted me a 10 lb loss from my initial weighin followed by the same-old same-old "stuck" condition. Added fruits and some starches doing my "semi primal" stint. Again that took care of a few pound uptick, then ... same-old.

All along I kept saying to myself I would not do a short-term weight loss plan, but I was enthused by the notion of the Eades Six Week Cure. In retrospect, even trying this absurd diet was an embarrassingly colossal mistake. I solidified my thoughts that I would have to keep on keeping on doing what I had done to lose the bulk of my weight to keep it off.

Maybe it was the research, maybe it was just my adventurous side coming out, but readers of this blog and my journal over at Jimmy Moore's forum know I have been experimenting quite a bit with my eating for several months now. How I went from wanting to buckle down for another weight loss push to just going "serene" I do not know. But the result is that now I eat quite differently than I did to lose the weight.

No, detractors-O-mine, I'm not some poser here ranting against the benefits of low carb dieting. But, my experiences have led me to a point where I look at low carbing for weight loss and I'm re-evaluating the notion of remaining LC for life, perhaps requiring going ever the lowER carb to maintain. I'm pretty sure that had I lost the weight on some other plan, I would equally be re-evaluating it's potential for the long term were the results similar.

The Leptin Diet author advises cutting carbs, but not entirely, and uses the term "carb cripple" to describe what happens when you cut carbs too low for too long. This past month I've been pretty consistently eating 75-100g carb/day and this has worked well. No, the remaining excess weight is not flying off me, but I haven't gained or struggled not to at all.

It seems almost blasphemous to discuss this on low carb boards. As if I'm somehow a traitor to some *cause*. Fred Hahn once challenged me as to why I seem so anti-LC given the success I've had employing it. I'm not anti-LC, I'm anti faddish claims and misinformation. I'm also very interested in eating a healthy diet for more than just weight loss and I'm not sure that is the version of low carb I see practiced or touted by various low carb "celebrities" (for lack of a better term). But if someone is gaining weight or constantly oscillating between gaining 5-10 lbs and losing it, it doesn't seem right to me to keep banging one's head against the wall doing the same thing. Seems to maintain LC, even going VLC or ZC because it's the only way you believe will keep you from gaining weight is as sheeple-like as those rigidly clinging to their low fat dogma or veganism or whatever who think eating butter will fatten them in a New York minute.

As reputable experts will all tell you, weight loss and MAINTENANCE will require a sustained change in eating and or activity habits to reverse caloric surplus. I used to interpret this rather rigidly to believe that I needed to permanently change these habits and continue the new ones in all perpetuity. I'm re-thinking this somewhat. It is more important to permanently change one's mindset regarding weight, activity and eating and develop adaptive strategies to achieve and maintain a relatively stable more optimal weight. In this regard I see low carb as an extremely effective tool for weight loss, but not so much for weight maintenance without some other tweak required by most people who've lost a lot of weight.

Am I abandoning LC entirely? No, and I don't foresee doing so any time soon. If my weight were to creep up I would definitely consider a Dukan Diet like plan of having a meat & veggie day each week. There may come a day when I have to more formally address portions/calories, etc. But for now I would have to say that the answer to my Title question here would be *no*. I remain open to tweaking the diet. What I have to do for the rest of my life, however, is maintain my *no way, no how, no excuses, no budging, no kidding myself, NO going back* mindframe.

Flaunting belly rolls

2010-11-22T09:02:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I just have to comment ;)

I was in the grocery the other day and a young lady strutted by me. She was not fat, very pretty and probably in her early 20's. She had on low-riding jeans and a slightly cropped tee-shirt on. Just enough to expose a belly roll that was giggling as she walked. As she passed by she pulled up the back of her pants, when all I could think was (a) when I was her age I would not have exposed my belly if it looked like that, and (b) she obviously had some modesty to tug up the butt, but would have done better to tug down the shirt!

In all honesty, her's was not a huge flabby belly, but I've seen far worse on far larger women, and I just don't get it. I'm all for feeling confident in one's body, but certain things I just don't get!

OK ... got that off my chest. :D

Steel cut oatmeal

2010-11-18T16:09:00.000-08:00

OK gang ... I think I'm finally sick of sushi. I'm not in a fruit mood these days either. So I'm looking at other starches to keep me in that 75-100g/day sweet-spot. I feel really good doing this.

So I was in Trader Joe's the other day and saw a container of steel cut oats. I remember how much I used to love oatmeal, even in the LF diet days.

So I had it for breakfast yesterday which is extremely unusual for me. Firstly, I rarely eat in the morning, and secondly, when I do it is usually higher fat LC fare (eggs and cheese or bacon or both). I experimented and fully expected to be hungry in two hours. I made it with almond milk mostly because the stock I have is rapidly approaching its expiration date, I don't drink the stuff, and I no longer drink whey shakes it was purchased for. Thus this meal was rather low calorie, high carb, low protein and fat.

I'm not shittin' you here when I say I felt full already about half way through the bowl. Not bloated, just satisfied. And I wasn't hungry again for several hours. I just had a bowl before this post for dinner. I feel very satisfied and it will be the last thing I eat today. Hmmmm.... a whopping 200 calories filling me up and satiating like this?

But CS, that carb count must be through the roof?! Nope, we're talking a whopping 35g carbs here, which is a point I made in a recent post. Yeah, that's almost twice what I would eat in a normal day for me for the past few years now. But that is NOT a lot of carbs. And I'm finding that eating like this feels so liberating these days. The other carb I had today was a small serving of potatoes (fried with onions and shrooms) with a salad, a few left over steak chunks and a chicken soup (carcass broth and pieces of chix wing meat). Oh ... and I had a chunk of liverwurst. Coffee with cream was the only other thing I had today.

I'm not sure my point in sharing this except to say that I didn't even push the protein today and I'm just not overly consumed by eating these days. The meats totaled maybe 6 oz, with the liverwurst packing more fat than protein. But I didn't have much fat on an absolute basis either. Eating more carbs seems to have reduced my appetite for everything else??!!! Fancy that......

Tortoise, Hare or Turtle-Bunny?

2010-11-16T04:46:00.000-08:00

I received a very nice email from a reader of this blog that inspired this post about the rate of weight loss and one's approach/thoughts/attitude towards the process. I have a series of posts here titled "The Difference This Time" (I don't have labels activated but you can search on that phrase if you're interested) that I add to from time to time. Because this time was different and IS different.

I've never really had problems losing weight. It was always the inevitability of gaining it back that haunted me. The web has no shortage of weight loss bloggers of every stripe and we can certainly find literally hundreds of books on weight loss, success stories, etc. Low carbers seem to shun the National Weight Control Registry, an organization studying what makes for long term maintenance of considerable (>30 lbs) weight loss. One of the things they look at is the speed of the weight loss. We've all seen examples of folks losing 100 or even almost 200 lbs in a year's time. Then there are those persistent plodders, content to lose a pound every two weeks and who can stick to it despite the lessened "instant gratification" of such an approach. Still, I always viewed all the successful maintainers as being ultimately very disciplined in diet and exercise, something I can muster for long stretches, but not forever.

So what about the rate of losses for me? Well, no doubt lately I have been one of those reeeeeaaaaaallllly slow moving old sea turtles in the weight loss department, but I do still consider myself a work in progress. Yet it would be disingenuous were I to omit crediting the rapid initial losses I was able to attain using my low carb approach for a huge part of my successful journey. Nothing is quite as motivating as rapid results ... and yet nothing is quite as demoralizing as when the losses slow, or worse, screech to a halt. For the slow losers, there's the delayed gratification of waking up one day and realizing you've lost 20 or 30 or more pounds ... and yet knowing that took 6 months or a year or more meaning it's going to take another 6 months or a year or more to lose the 30, 50 or more pounds left to lose. But my initial losses were rapid as evidenced by a smaller pants size almost like clockwork each month early on. I don't know that were I to have lost at a slower rate if I could have stuck with it at the heavier weights. I'm able to accept the super-turtle losses these days because I'm already at a comfortable size for myself, if not a perfect weight (and who knows what that is for me any more).

Most of the conventional wisdom and anecdotal evidence seems to point to long term success with the slow but steady tortoise approach. We're almost brainwashed to believe that the path to true success must be that of the tortoise, the hares will just bounce back. This makes sense as less drastic changes in diet and other habits should be more sustainable, whereas drastic changes for rapid weight loss diets increase the likelihood of "falling off the wagon" entirely or relaxing the restrictions following weight loss leading to regains.

The weight loss trajectories of Shai are familiar and instructive:

"On average", initial low carb weight losses are greater -- significantly greater -- than other approaches, but then the regain comes about. For the typical CRD (low fat), the pattern is also fairly familiar, more modest losses followed by a regain. The Mediterranean diet which is far less extreme than either LF or LC seems to be the best approach ... again, "on average". It is important to realize that surely there were individuals on each of the plans who lost more weight and kept it off, as well as those who lost less and/or gained back more. However flawed, I do also note that the standard deviation of the reported caloric intakes for the MDTN group is significantly smaller than that of either extreme. This leads me to believe that this more moderate approach may be preferred. Would I have the patience? (I'll never know)

Where am I going with this? Well, in retrospect I think it all comes down to being the bunny when your body and mind is ready and wanting to be, and being able to morph to a turtle when your body and/or mind prefers to be. The problem with this morphing is that often it's the body that decides when the turtle-bunny transformer switch flips. We can't really control it. We need to adapt.

I'm not going to "stand here" and lie to you that, had I been blogging all along since 2007, you all wouldn't have been treated to several "woe is me" posts out of frustration. There's no magic formula for weight losses and our bodies have their own "minds". It sure isn't FAIR, is it, that no amount of perseverance can ever fully reverse obesity, but it is reality.

If I had to put my finger on one part of my mindset responsible for my success this time it would be that I had NO timeframe in mind and NO goal number on the scale. I didn't start this defining success as losing down to 150 lbs. I didn't think in my mind that if I didn't fit the size whatevers in time for a milestone birthday, class reunion, etc. that I would have failed. My body rewarded me with those rapid losses, and more recently with small victories as I seemingly "recompose" without reflecting much change on the scale. I do not feel like I've been "dieting" for more than three years now. Yes, there have been "nose to the grindstone" periods, but there have been times I just let myself coast for a while.

There's no prize for getting there faster in the end ... after all, the only end that matters ....

I believe there's a turtle-bunny in all of us with excess weight to lose. :-) {OK, now I'm being a little silly here, something about turtle-bunny just makes me smile}

Thanksgiving is near ....

2010-11-14T06:54:00.000-08:00

The Salvation Army bell ringers are out especially early this year ... the holiday season approaches. I don't know too many people, even thin ones, who don't get a bit anxious about their weights this time of year. The response varies from starting a diet to totally counter the trend, to "letting it all hang out" and deal with the repercussions come January 1 with its included resolutions.

To wit I scan the LC webosphere and see the posts and discussions in anticipation of this most weight-busting of seasons.

In particular, I'm seeing a whole lot of LC recipes for Thanksgiving dinner popping up with folks looking for substitutes for this or that favorite.

Might I, in my usual contrarian fashion {grin} suggest another approach? Just have Thanksgiving dinner. Our weights are NOT determined by what we eat on one day out of the year, it's the other 364 that count most. For me, Thanksgiving has, and always will be, a day that I enjoy smells and tastes from my childhood and newfound favorites. This was my first holiday I ever hosted as an adult at my home, and it is the holiday hubby and I host for our family each year. We've added our own "traditional dishes" to the mix, not the least of which is my sister's contribution: a pie she makes once a year that I absolutely see no reason to pass on!

We're talking one meal here. Even if you stuff yourself silly, it's not going to make much of a difference in the long haul, but why would you even need to? I eat a little of everything which, don't get me wrong, means a pretty full plate of food, seconds even. This is one of the few days of the year I knowingly eat more than what my hunger signalling is telling me to. Who knows how many calories I eat. I don't care. Really .... I don't. I pretty much don't eat before dinner, nor after. I usually eat lightly the day before and after. Bottom line, even before this journey, I didn't balloon up during the holiday season any more than any other time of year.

I will not sic sugar alcohols, artificial sweeteners, fiberous "flours" and whatnot on unsuspecting guests. In the end, most of the foods at our table are just good real foods. There will be turkey and another meat (most often lamb), there will be salad and at least two other veggies (usually green beans and carrots), and there will be carbs: stuffing, wild rice, cranberry sauce, gravy and sweet potatoes. There will be NO deprivation, and there might even be a bit of gluttony :)

There will be being thankful. There will be a bountiful feast. ENJOY

I'm wearing my size 8 "goal pants"!!!!!!

2010-11-08T06:17:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure I've shared this tactic specifically here on this blog ... I sometimes don't recall what I've posted here or on discussion forums.

In any case, I began this journey sometime in the summer of 2007 ... late June perhaps? At the time I was busting out of 20W stretch twill pants, so if I had to buy a new pair I was probably more realistically a 22W. In my previous journey down the scale I had made it into size 12's of this same brand/style pants, so I knew that I had rebounded in weight considerably. I'll never know my high weight because I never got on the scale.

I decided that I would not let that number be the indicator of my progress. Mostly because of the psychological blow that a "3" might have had (hubby says that would have been it), but really, anything over the 250 mark would have been devastating to see even though there was no kidding myself of all the hard work I had undone and then some.

So, anyway, my plan was to use pants as my guide. This particular style was available in the "W" and regular sizes year round, and were reasonably priced. So the first thing I did was go out and buy a pair of 18W's. Tried those on every now and then until I could wear them out in public. As soon as I could do that, I went out and purchased the 16W's and so forth. There was a little fluctuation in sizing going from those W's to the regular sizes (16's were slightly smaller than 14W's), but I progressed in this fashion. In May of 2008 I was able to wear, albeit tight, my size 10's and I bought my size 8's.

I have probably lost another 20-30 lbs since May of 2008, slowly re-composing as I like to call it. My bottom half seemed to go down about a size to where most of my 10's were a bit loose, but I couldn't quite make it down to the next size. Well, I sorta forgot about those pants although they've been in my bottom drawer all this time.

This morning I went to get dressed and realized I had forgotten to wash my black pants after getting white powder all over them. Those pants have been fitting somewhat loosely, so I figured what the heck, let's see if I can fit into those 8's.

I'm IN!!!!!!!!!!!! They fit snug, but not too snugly so that I'm comfy wearing them. Woooo hooooooo!!!!!

What is Optimal Body Weight?

2010-11-07T07:24:00.000-08:00

The last time I weighed in at "normal" against even the most liberal BMI, height/weight tables, etc. was sometime around 25 years ago.

Yet I've been both close a few times according to weight (150-ish), and I'm certainly *there* now in terms of size (unless someone thinks a size 10 bottom, M to L tops (mostly to accomodate my boobs, but admittedly because I still have some larger upper arms). Not to mention that I've worn 8's 10's and 12's periodically throughout my adult life, though admittedly spending far more time in 16's 18's and up into the dreaded W's ... 22 to be realistic.

My point? OK. I still weigh close to 200 lbs. That is obese or just about by standards for my 5'3.5" frame.

And yet ... in still another of my "a ha" moments of late, I wonder what optimal really means. I'm of normal size, I look at least a decade younger than I am, and I'm able to do things like collect, split and stack wood, repair a chimney cap and paint the second floor exterior of my home with ease. Do these physical challenges leave me tired and sore? Sure. But not excessively so! My joints are not revolting by swelling up more than a small temporary bit.

At my riper older age I'm able to do things I not only couldn't do just 5 years ago, I didn't think I COULD do them 10 years ago.

So ... do I want to lose more? Yes. Is it necessary for optimum weight/health? Jury is out!

Let them eat candy!

2010-10-31T06:39:00.000-07:00

So it's Halloween and all across the LC web bloggers and discussion board members are lamenting that kiddies will show up at our doors to collect candy "treats". It's like poison I tell ya! Give me a break. Kids collecting candy one day a year is not going to kill them, and it's not going to make them fat. Indeed going overboard about this will probably be counterproductive as the kids WILL find a way to eat junk at some time.

I remember Halloween being about the costumes, and as we got a little older some mischief (mostly perpetrated upon our group and between rivals). Sure, the candy take was part of the fun. But we surrendered the candy bags to my parents who went through it and doled out the goodies. A goodly portion disappeared (presumably it was taken to work or otherwise given away). We were not allowed to stuff our faces sick, but we were allowed to have some candy. It didn't kill any of us, and it didn't make any of my classmates fat or deranged. My folks walked the neighborhood with us when we were younger, we surely got our fair share of exercise walking around each year.

Rather than bitch about the stupid candy, why not get involved with the kids and have them make their costumes instead of buying them. Have them help decorate the house. Don't drive them from home to home under some pathetic guise of safety ... get out and walk with them (or a safe distance behind), and if it's cold, put on a coat! Let kids be kids!

"Physical Awareness" after considerable weight loss

2010-10-22T06:44:00.000-07:00

Folks, I am SORE. Why? I've spent several hours the past few days going up and down ladders two stories high and stretching every which way off of them. Moving the (older = heavier) extension ladder, etc. Sometimes lately I get these "aha" moments and this was one of them. I realized that after the first few wary trips, I became confident in my movements, that I wasn't going to fall, that my bad knee wouldn't buckle, that when the ladder tipped a little too far while moving it I had the strength to right it. And I got to thinking that, although I'm the same size as I was last summer, and last summer I had been at this approximate size for the better part of a year already, I would not have thought to try this a year ago. Indeed the first trip up the ladder I questioned my sanity for trying it now! LOL.

Anyway, I think one of the often ignored aspects of massive weight gains and losses, especially rapid ones, is the effect it has not just on body image, but, for lack of a better term, "physical awareness". By this, I mean when one's dimensions and the load we place on our muscles and joints changes so dramatically, it takes a while for the brain to catch up.

First aspect of PA would have to be spatial awareness - that is a realistic knowledge of one's size and dimensions. I'm not talking about the anorexic seeing a fat person in the mirror here. I'm talking, for example, that I've always carried my weight relatively well. But when I busted over around the 230 mark, I seemed to lose perspective on just HOW big I had gotten. I'm sure many of my readers can recall the humiliation they felt on the way up in weight when they miscalculated the amount of room behind that seated diner sitting between you and the restroom. Or walking down the narrow aisle of an airplane sorta sideways and still not quite fitting. Or not being able to properly close a seat belt, guard on an amusement ride, etc. Or standing at a party for fear of breaking the lawn chair!

But the flipside of that is, especially if you're obese long enough, on the way back down in weight it takes a good while to re-gauge the dimensions. I'm about the same size today as I was two years ago, but I've slowly gotten a better grip on what spaces I can pass through easily, squeeze through, etc. I'm STILL surprised sometimes by myself.

Then there's physical strength. I have bad knees, and one which has literally buckled on me even during my thinner athletic days. I remember climbing some rocks in Sedona at the beginning of this journey and being petrified I would end up in the ravine coming back down the slightest of inclines. I've surprised myself with my strength - given no formal exercise until I started the push ups in March - by pushing my limits, however, I've learned just what I can and cannot do. It is EMPOWERING.

I think exercises like body weight exercises, plyometrics and pilates are all good to reprogram our physical awareness. My own version of this is remodeling of all sorts (lifting, performing maneuvers in often difficult physical positions), collecting firewood and basic yard work. I feel very in tune with what I'm capable of. If you told me a decade ago that I would be able to do all of this now at my age, I would have laughed. Now I feel like I can maintain most of this over the next decade. Please knees ... don't fail me now!

Just wanted to share 8-)

The Myth of a Maintenance Phase

2010-10-16T14:32:00.000-07:00

No matter the diet plan, when you embark, most of what I would call responsible plans (e.g. not unsustainable quick loss diets) tout some sort of plan for long term success ... the true goal and measure of success: MAINTENANCE.

It is the most elusive of outcomes for weight loss plans. Millions of folks have lost trillions of pounds in a seemingly infinite number of ways. But regardless of all that, the recidivism rates -- those who gain back and often add a few more pounds -- remains discouragingly high.

Having lost a lot of weight (60+ pounds) several years ago but put it all back on and several pounds more (perhaps as many as 40 - I don't know my weights so ...) , this was a huge issue for me in finally committing myself to losing the weight this last go round. My thinking was this: What was the point of losing weight if I was only going to gain it back again? ... again! I never had trouble losing weight. I just could never keep it off. I've probably lost well over 500 lbs in my lifetime ....

I've obviously read a lot of weight loss success stories, trials and tribulations of ongoing "losers" (and gainers), and fair share of weight loss studies over the past year or so, not to mention my own experiences with just about every possible weight loss program except for the package deals (never could muster the $$ for those, but I've done the Lean Cuisine equivalent of them).

One thing I've noticed is that, almost invariable as one gets closer to goal (or some lower weight), losses naturally level off. In other words, maintenance is basically keeping on doing what you're doing. How many people have you seen lose rapidly all the way down then need to eat more to keep from losing too much weight? I'm sure there may well be a person or two that does, but it is not the norm.

I had to laugh a little when I read The New Atkins in order to review it. One of my criticisms was the word count on the maintenance phase section. Folks who climb the "rungs" in OWL (Ongoing Weight Loss) and actually achieve OWL are few and far between. Most Atkins "success stories", and indeed many long term low carbers, eat at induction levels perennially.

Here's the rub. Reduce calories to lose weight and metabolism IS going to be lowered. Does it come back a bit eventually? I don't know. The short term studies aren't promising on that, but perhaps over a few years the news gets better? Couple that with the FACT that a body that is 20, 50, 100 lbs or more lighter just requires fewer calories to begin with and it can get exasperating. Especially for us women, we can be talking rather few calories to maintain.

Most CRD's hold out the "maintenance" where you supposedly can eat a little more so as not to continue losing. Atkins even advised a "pre-maintenance" phase before "maintenance" where more carbs could be added to slow weight loss and maintain it.

I maintain that there's no such thing. Once you get where you're going, dietary changes may be possible, but increasing intake to any degree will lead to weight gain.

You want to lose weight and keep it off? My suggestion is to let go of this notion that once you've reached goal you can relax things even just a bit and keep it off. Nope. It's not fair, but as time goes on, you may even need to be more restrictive just to maintain (and/or exercise a bit more, etc.). Why? For the reasons I stated above.

Through the eyes of others ....

2010-10-13T04:36:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to put my finger on something that's been going on with me mentally for the past few months and I think I finally realized what it was. I had the opportunity to get "feedback" of sorts from NEW people who haven't known me all my life. I'm realizing how invaluable this has been for me to see myself as others see me. Of course it's always a huge ego boost and reassuring to see those infrequently seen family and friends and receive compliments on my weight loss, but there's always the history there. I can't help but feel sometimes that I just look "better" ... OK, a LOT better, but still just as compared to how I used to look.

I have been told I have a nice body, NOW. I have discussed my weight loss with a couple of these people (low carb came up in a discussion about diabetes - yes, I'm a social geek sometimes too - and they wanted to know how I know so much about LC nutrition) and they can't believe I was so obese. This makes me feel really good, even knowing that I have about 30 lbs of fat remaining to lose. I'm *normal* now!

I think this type of interaction may be worthwhile for many people who have lost a lot of weight, or even gained a lot. Granted the latter may be a more sobering revelation, but it may be worthwhile nonetheless. Especially for gaining, family and friends are not the best gauge. They're likely to see weight gain as worse than it really is (if it's been a big jump between seeing them) but not want to hurt your feelings. I'm sure you all know "the look". I can't even count the number of times I've endured that, and it always made me feel worse than I really was. Of course there's also the flipside of them not really noticing significant gains if they see you often and the gains are slow but steady. With losing, I think us yo-yo types might even get a little addicted to the adulation we receive when we lose weight. It's also an iffy thing when nobody says anything. (A cousin commented to my hubby this past summer for example about how I look 10 years younger but she didn't want to say anything to me because I might feel insulted? As in that I looked 10 years older a couple of years ago I guess??). In any case, there's that expectation sometimes so you don't get a "real" reaction to losses either.

So, I highly recommend creating your own "fresh start" opportunity if one doesn't present itself. Take an adult ed class or join some sort of club or whatever. It's been an accidental godsend for me!

Update on the weight loss push

2010-10-11T03:01:00.000-07:00

Well ... in a way I'm skulking back here to report that I haven't been doing much in a concerted way with my weight loss push. Especially the exercise as I'm not even doing my push ups (WILL restart the 6 week schedule TODAY!). September was a busy month. I had also gotten so used to not weighing that I had forgotten to weigh the past few weeks. So on Saturday afternoon I was feeling kinda fat and an old pair of jeans I had unearthed fit a little snug. I decided right then and there to face the music and fully expected to see a fluctuation weight above 200. To my surprise I weighed 198! So, this morning I weighed and ta da!!! 197 :-) I do think I saw this number once in the last year and a half. But it is a low (and it means I probably weigh 194 on my doctor's scale).

I have been more active lately with work and prepping for painting our house. Gotta say, it feels good to be able to handle a power washer on a ladder at 2nd floor level!! But I also ran out of cream for my coffee (I use half & half) last week and have since consumed 1.5 cans of coconut milk in my coffee (although had cream some days) and as a little dessert. Did this make a difference? As to the snug jeans, it seems my weight has shifted slightly back to my bum & thighs (and seemingly off my upper arms as tops seem looser). Is this because I've been consuming a few more carbs on a regular basis? My upper arms had gotten a bit smaller/more toned when I was doing the push ups regularly so it's not like I've lost muscle bulk. It's odd is all I can say.

Anyway, I'm glad I weigh these days. It's another tool in this battle. I promised myself back in 2007 that whatever my weight loss, I would NOT regain. This time I promised myself that if I ever found myself thinking that I didn't want to face the scale (or putting on those skinny jeans) until I had been "good" for a few days, I would force myself to do so. I think this is where weighing daily can be a good practice for some so long as the little fluctuations don't cause unnecessary anxiety. If you hop on every day religiously there can be no "I'll weigh and start tomorrow, or Monday, or 1st of the Month (or ... New Years!), and backsliding is far less likely to occur if it's "monitored".

CarbSane's Do's and Don'ts, etc.

2010-10-08T09:22:00.000-07:00

Over in the Asylum in a post entitled The Middle Ground, reader Jenna asked me a few questions of a more personal nature. So I thought I would respond in a post over here. Excerpts from Jenna's comments/questions will be in default font, my replies in burgandy italics.

Any chance you would write a post some time on what your usual do's and don'ts look like? For instance you have said in your posts that you eat a low carb low fat diet and arrange cheat days, but I wonder what this looks like for you on a typical day? I ask this mostly because I wonder what you think about eating fruit, starchy foods, vegetables and whole plant based diets and recommended limits/quantities as I am a bit confused by all the 'fructose' talk that is plaguing the internet at the moment.

Hmmm.... This is a little difficult because my diet has evolved over the past year or so I'll try and give a summary of my weight loss phase eating first. I do need to clear up that I ate (and continue to eat) lowER fat than most low carbers seem to, but at 40-55% of calories most days nobody would call that low fat! A typical day would start with at least two very large mugs of coffee with half & half and Splenda. I might then have a chunk of cheese, a small bowl of 2% cottage cheese or some nuts mid-morning. My big meal was usually a large rather simple salad with lots of iceberg or romaine (I'm not an adventurous greens gal), several olives a can of oil-packed solid white tuna (oil drained but not squeezed) and olive oil & vinegar (cider or balsamic) dressing. Sometimes pieces of rotisserie chicken and Caesar dressing instead. I might have another snack in the afternoon similar to the morning snack. Dinner? If eating with the hubby here are some typical meals: 5-6 chicken wings, 5 oz burger with cheese, steak, prime rib, meatloaf, parm crusted tilapia, pan-fried salmon, quiche. We'll usually share one of those large steam in bag veggies (beans, broccoli, broc&cauli) with butter to go with. I usually had a Lindor truffle or a squirt of real whipped cream (right out of the can!) probably every other day. Oh ... and I eat a LOT of pickles. As the months wore on, I probably ate a few more hot dogs and deli meats (liverwurst, salami) instead of the tuna, and a bit more cheese and low carb wraps. I did try to keep the carb total under 20g most days, keeping in mind that I don't even bother to consider the carbs in veggies. I guess one lingering restriction from previous LC stints was the fruit. I probably didn't have any in a year (maybe a chunk or two of cantaloupe?), but it had nothing to do with this whole fructose nonsense (there I said it, fructose from reasonable portions of fruit is NOT the problem!). It had to do with my misremembering fruits as containing far more carbs than they really do, never being a huge fruit consumer in the first place, so figuring it wasn't something worth eating.

I planned cheats so that I ate anything I wanted on vacations just mindfully. I've come to realize that it really is only the first few bites of some "sinful" food that are enjoyable ... so I just stop there. I probably even eat fewer calories sometimes on cheats. I do consciously try to get good protein in at one meal at least to keep from getting hungry.

Since last summer I've been experimenting with my eating including intermittent fasting, higher carb Primal, etc. I would say that my eating is far more consistent now, and even on our vacations and visits this past summer I doubt I even went over 100g carb more than a handful of times. I eat a piece of fruit (or melon or berries) most days. I eat rice 2-3X/week, potatoes and wheat/grains (gasp!) in the form of pasta or the low carb wraps maybe twice a week. I still don't eat breakfast unless I happen to be hungry. I go in phases eating a lot of eggs then none at all. Same for avocado. Been on an eel sushi kick for a while now although it's been a few days ...

So ... Don'ts: Don't really have any with respect to specific foods. I found that giving myself permission to eat whatever I want in moderation touched off some sort of a cascade in my thought processes and relationship with food to where nowadays, I find I don't really want most of those foods I thought I could never do without. Take something off the table for me and I'll want it more. And if I have an opportunity to eat it I would overdo. It didn't change overnight, but now even giving myself "permission" to have carbs every day, I find I still have days with even fewer carbs than before! Wanna know what I ate yesterday? Well, I was up very very early, so I had a bowl of cottage cheese around 6am along with many cups of coffee with H&H and Splenda. In the afternoon I had a few bites of leftover porterhouse gnawed off the bone and a can of sardines. Little while later I had half a Haas avocado with Franks Red Hot sauce. Had a 5oz burger with muenster and salad with bacon ranch dressing. That's probably a waaaaaay high fat day for me LOL. Today has been eclectic so far too. Had half a leftover burger with low sugar ketchup at around 7 (again, don't usually eat that early) with my coffee. Had some smoked almonds and a couple of pickles and a bowl of homemade chicken broth with the remaining pickins from a rotisserie carcass. I'm feeling like I won't be hungry until tonight if at all. Today I will have a few cocktails ;)

Don't obsess over the minimal intake of "toxins" or "junk". Whenever I read studies on these issues, be they environmental contaminants, fructose, omega 6's, etc., I note that almost universally we're talking chronic dosage at elevated levels, often in liquid form. For example, when I want mayo these days I go for the "real deal" Hellmann's -- soybean oil and all. How much could 15-30g of this really hurt in the big scheme of things (I'd say NADA) since I'll probably not have mayo again for weeks or months depending on my food moods.

Don't eat when you don't want to (e.g. just because everyone else is, because so-and-so says not to skip meals, etc.). Don't eat that which does not appeal to you. This includes, or perhaps I should say especially if you're only eating some "healthy" food because it is "good for you".

My big Do: Adequate protein for your needs. For me, that means quite a bit most days.

My other helpful Do: Find foods that can reasonably incorporate small doses of favorites into your daily routine. It really did help me from ever wanting to overdo it on cheat days. (mini bag of microwave popcorn, one or two Lindor truffles, Dove Bliss or similar, whipped cream shots, etc.)

I'm really not sure what or who to listen to. I am desperately trying to find 'health' and feel that with all the advise, that I follow my health just gets worse; my skin just seems to get worse and worse and my hair too, despite not eating sugar, pasta, bread. I find it more and more ironic that despite all this science about fats and how good they are and any protein goes kind of attitude my body seems to be saying quite the opposite, yet I still find myself quite confused and following 'expert' advice. This stuff seems to be hard to shift from my brain.

I'm not sure if it was a new skincare regime or LC eating, but my skin really cleared up in these past years. I really never break out much anymore and it seems when I do it is more stress related than diet. One thing I did notice though when I added back in a few more carbs regularly was that my nails, which had been brittle to the point of requiring acrylics, are much stronger now. I actually need to trim them and/or can get regular manicures.

My advice to you would be to try (without obsessing which is easier said than done) to experiment on yourself. You can get your own blood glucose meter and strips for relatively little money. See how you REALLY react to foods, not what some book says you do. Do 2-3 week experiments on yourself where you cut dairy but keep other fats high, or cut all gluten but eat other carbs, etc. I truly believe our skin is an outward expression of our health (along with eye if that makes sense). There is a lot of evidence for certain people to preferentially thrive on high carb diets without becoming obese or being relatively lean even.
It's timely reading this post 'The Middle Ground' as a reminder of the first (possibly) and last time I truly felt happy with my body etc was when I was living in quite difficult circumstances. I made at the time what seemed to be a conscious effort to create a life more mindfully despite all else that was going on (I was living in a Backpackers Hostel for two years: living was good, bad, and a bit crazy). However, when I left this place and the environment changed I realised how the geography of the City had in part actually helped to dictate how I had structured my life and the quality of it, as much as having been dictated by my own personal wants. For instance I walked a lot because it was that kind of city where you literally had to, I got sunshine because the place I lived was dark and could be quite depressing, I felt I had to get out, I was able to go out and buy fresh, quality produce on my doorstep which made me feel good, etc. So my point in reference to this post is that in the same way all the nutrition blogs, nutrition books have and are structuring thoughts and behavior too, though the guise is somehow that we're supposed to be better in control of our lives through nutritional knowledge. Clearly as you say, what lies behind weight loss or over all health is multifaceted and cant necessarily by cured or even explained by adding cod liver oil, vitimin K, a vitamin D supplement or even, by getting a bit of sunshine etc etc etc.

I posted in one of my "The difference this time" posts about sunshine. Taking supplements has never made me feel better than I did without them (with the exception of the Estroven I now take having gone through menopause which has been incredible for the night sweats and, if you ask the hubby, my moods). But since I threw modesty out the window in 2007 and beared my fat bod to the sunshine (and consequently frolicking in swimming pools), I've never felt better. FDA and Obamacare taxes be damned, I WILL be going to the tanning salon on occasion. It makes me feel great! It is October in the Northeast, but it's in the 70's here and I'm sitting out in capris and a tankini top as I type this. Not a cloud in the sky :D:D The only sunscreen I wear is included in some of my beauty creams (didn't realize this once and had a case of some very irregularly shaped raccoon eyes a few weeks back!). For all the sun exposure I had in my youth through now I should be a shriveled up prune looking at least a decade older. Yet most people who meet me think I'm at least a decade younger. If it weren't for some loose skin remaining from weight loss, I'd probably look even younger still.

I wonder how to reach middle ground and undo some of the damage done by this way of thinking, as I no longer know how much these thoughts dictate my not liking to eat oats, because they make me feel a certain way, and things like that. I wonder whether it is possible to reverse all these harmful relationships I haven't the know how to define or distinguish as yet, regarding what is dictating these feelings and decisions about foods. I am really asking what thoughts and decisions that we make are truly our own, dictated by our bodily needs? How do we decide whether our wants are good for us? I suppose thats what nutritionalist advice is about though isn't it, and my talking is possibly the equivalent of one massive oxymoron! HA HA Anyway, thanks for the thought prompts and enjoying your posts all the same! X

I do credit Atkins for helping me find my way to where I'm at. At the time, his diet went against all conventional wisdom and I lost weight hand over fist eating all these yummy "fattening" foods. When I look at your description of life in the hostel, I would suggest you try to find a way to mimic that (even if you don't *have* to). Work towards looking to food as fuel rather than the enemy. I eat as much of foods I enjoy that are packed full of nutrition as I want. Calories seem to be self limiting eating that way. This leaves me plenty of room to occasionally eat stuff that's not good (though not necessarily bad) for me in moderation. Thus I never feel deprived without needing to overindulge.

Eat what makes YOU feel good. I can guarantee that won't be donuts and french fries. Like I've said, this didn't happen for me overnight. The more I focus on fueling this body yet acknowledge my desires for good "naughty" foods, the better I feel. I wish this for you Jenna! If there's anything I can do to help you work through the thoughts let me know. You are young yet. Consider this: I've reversed over 2 decades of crap and I'm doing fine. Not suggesting you wait that long, just suggesting that if it takes you a couple of years to repair it all you still have your whole healthy life ahead!!

How Gary Taubes would treat anorexia

2010-09-30T12:02:00.000-07:00

As a former research scientist and former bulimic (and probably borderline anorexic prior to that), a lot of what Taubes says hits me on a more personal level than it may others. I'm very much put off by his attitude towards researchers, and maybe I'll vent on that another day, but this post is about his attitude about eating disorders.

I think the proverbial straw that broke this camel's back on this was in one of his lectures where he discusses insulin and anorexia. Taubes mentioned that they used to treat anorexics with insulin to gain weight. In was his FANTASY (that was his chosen word) that those treating anorexia would treat it as a disorder in fat accumulation rather than an eating disorder. HUH? Anorexics have no problem physiologically gaining weight if we can get them to eat. In Taubes' mind somehow anorexics become emaciated because their insulin levels plummeted spontaneously so they couldn't accumulate fat no matter how much they ate? C'mon. That is just nuts. And it is not only insulting, but seems rather unsympathetic and dismissive of the whole host of issues anorexics deal with. Anorexia is not a hormone imbalance (although it can lead to them), it is a mental illness that seems to have any number of triggers. I was perfectly normal eating carbs and fats and whatnot w/o stuffing my piehole with a loaf of fluffernutters in 15 minutes until I went on my first diet. It was the resulting consequences of a crash diet that sent me down the road of eating disorders that finally resulted in obesity. Does Taubes envision forced insulin injection with, say, glucose IV will cure an anorexic?? Seems so. Just strap 'em down, fatten them up, and all is well and good?

When I hear Taubes make comments of this nature he exposes the absurd lengths he'll go to in order to justify his "alternative hypothesis" -- IOW try to fit the evidence to exactly the opposite of what it would lead anyone else to believe.

This further angers me because I do believe I could have been spared the truly obese state I achieved following my first stint on Atkins had Dr. A not succeeded in replacing one paranoia (over calories) with another (over carbs). Together with Taubes' theories, it is a recipe for diet mentality induced binge eating disorders. Folks beating themselves up over a slice of bread, or shunning veggies because they are convinced the couple of grams of veggie carbs is causing weight stalls or gains ... and not the 2T butter or dressing slathered on.

So ... thanks for letting me vent!

Carbanoia will Destroy-ya?

2010-09-26T05:50:00.000-07:00

Before you read any further: If you are a sugar junkie who has found redemption in the LC world, this post is probably not for you. There's no getting around it. Aside from small treats, high % dark chocolate and some fruits, sugar carbs just have a way of adding up FAST.

That said I think that most low carbers go through a period that can only be described as paranoia with regards to carbohydrates. This is no different than the same thing that happens to calorie counters, point counters, fat gram counters, etc.

Counting or tracking anything is an invitation to obsess over whatever the object is. Case (not LC) in point -- I'm amused by one of the low fat yogurt commercials that's been airing lately touting "only 80 calories" vs. 100 for the competitor. I still recall the days when I obsessed over 20 calories in selecting which food to eat. Many low carbers give absolutely no thought to calories, let alone obsess over 20 calories. But most low carb plans begin with a very restricted carb intake phase (Atkins Induction, etc.). Almost inherent in this is replacing caloriphobia with carbophobia and obsessing over every gram.

So: Pop Quiz.
1. How many carbs in a dozen Nacho Cheese Doritos?
2. How many carbs in a mini-bag of microwave popcorn?

There's no evidence that being in ketosis (as in spilling ketones) in the long haul, let alone that it is even possible*, is related to weight loss or maintenance. Many avid long term low carbers claim they must stay under 20 or 30 or 50 (why seemingly nobody has a 40g threshold ...) grams or they will gain. This belief has the propensity to sabotage one's efforts. If you eat an extra 125 grams of carbs one day in addition to your normal intake, you will gain (or not lose) at most 1/7th of a pound of fat.

The thing I've found is that some "carby foods" don't really have as many carbs as we even think. I never bothered counting anything on cheats, but in the past year or so have periodically counted them to get a handle on intake as I've tried various higher carb plans, and incorporated fruit and some starches back into my diet. What I learned was that I still had a case of carbanoia. I waaaaay overestimated the carbs in most starchy foods. I really thought I was probably eating 200 or even 300 g on my cheats (remember, not binge). Seems that many in the LC community tend to do the same. The risk of carbanoia is that if one "gives in" to a carby food, most low carbers THINK this will have a far greater impact than it can possibly have on a physiologic basis.

So, for example, my hubby still brings snack junk into our home. Mostly it doesn't even appeal to me, so I don't eat it, but occasionally I'll want just a taste of that Dorito. Well, answers to my pop quiz: 12 Nacho Cheese flavor Doritos contains 16 net carbs (18 total), a mini-bag of popcorn has 16-18g net carbs (18-20 total). I'm willing to bet most LC'ers would have overestimated this. Now some will say -- yeah, but who can stop at just 12. Ummm... I will have 2 to 4 and be just fine. White Cheddar Cheese puffs have ~16g in 32 puffs! I'm willing to bet if I put 32 puffs on a plate most would vastly overestimate the carb content of this "bad food". Even some sweets are OK. A favorite treat of mine is Lindor truffles at 5g carb each. An Edwards Oreo cookie pie (single slice from the freezer section) has 34g carb. Yes, the sweets add up faster, but even there I'll bet most would look at this slice of pie and way overestimate the content. A serving of rice or pasta usually packs between 30 & 40g.

OK ... I'm not advocating eating junk food. Absolutely NOT. Just that I see folks eschew all "carbs" at a meal, feel deprived, and be tempted to go off plan. But I've found myself having a hard time EATING 100g carb/day when following plans that allow for/call for higher carb consumption. And I've been eating relaxed carb for long enough now that I don't see that wearing off either.

Atkins admonished in his first book to not even have a bite of this or that. I think this was a prescription for ultimate failure for many would be low carbers.

Re-Upping

2010-09-16T15:40:00.000-07:00

Well, exercise is still not getting worked in here :( To be honest, that is part laziness, but also part trying to work cardio in when I'm waiting around for phone calls about the accident and my husband's injuries/meds for same in between appointments and work ... it has been difficult to do.

So I decided the least I could do was to re-commit to the push up challenge. I decided to give Week1 Column 2 a conservative try, figuring it shouldn't be too challenging. Kinda depressing that it was a challenge. Supposed to do 5 sets: 6/6/4/4/5+ I managed 6/6/4/4/6. The good news is that whatever weird injury I sustained a while back (bruised rib? strained muscle? ???) that seemed to have been tweaked by the accident did not act up. I'm reminding myself how rapidly my strength built up the last time following this program, so I'm not discouraged.

Week 1 Weigh-In

2010-09-14T08:10:00.000-07:00

198.5 (OK a day late, since I haven't been weighing I just forgot yesterday)

Gee, I'll take that! Because with lots of scheduling issues with being down a vehicle, etc., I haven't done anything on the exercise. I did try to do the push-ups, but the accident seemed to aggravate my previous injury. And I think that home gym contraption has it out for me. I have one purple fingernail from the leg curl attachment closing on my index finger, and my thumb joint (which was already still sore from tweaking it throwing not-so-small-anymore kids in the pool over a month ago!) is black and blue from two weights smashing down on it.

I have been running about town like a chicken without a head so who knows. That might be helping. It sure is helping my ego lately. It is nice to be "acknowledged" by strangers if ya know what I mean!

Diet has been good. Funny -- my relaxed eating over the summer was probably not all that different than what I'm doing now although I do keep the calories in mind more now. Still on my sushi kick, which hubby keeps reminding me has carbs. Yes, but not too many, and it is relatively low calorie. Mostly it is just really satisfying for me on many levels!

Even if I can't get to the weight resistance workout, I WILL start formal cardio this week.

TTFN!

9-to-10 in 9/10??

2010-09-06T06:28:00.000-07:00

OK, that's a cheezy title. LOL!

As much as I hate to set goals, I'm going to do it anyway. Since I weighed in this morning at 199.5, I would like to lose 9-10 lbs by the end of the month. That is surely a lofty goal for a gal who's been stuck as long as I have, but I'm coming off several weeks of very unstructured eating that has probably shaken my metabolism up a bit. So I'm hopeful that by putting my nose to the grindstone now for a bit I can shed some of the remaining excess fat.

Here's the diet plan I've settled on: LoBAG 20-30 with target calories 1300 +/- 100 calories. By this I mean I'll be aiming to average 25% carbs (that's ~ 80g), but keep my carb range probably what it has been these past several weeks in the 65g-100g/day. I will also structure foods around protein, so at 30% of 1300 cals that also puts me around 100g. Fat will be adjusted accordingly. While I don't plan to do intermittent fasting formally, on those days when I'm not hungry until later in the day, I'll continue what I've been doing -- e.g. not eat. I'm going to try to avoid alcohol as much as possible.

I'm going to weigh in each week on Monday morning. For now, I don't plan to formally count calories. I'm pretty good at tracking in my head so long as I don't do a lot of snacking. We'll see how this goes this first week and whether or not I'll need to be more disciplined on this count.

Exercise: Due to the car accident I have not gotten around to figuring out the home gym fully. My first resistance workout may well not be until Thursday. Today I'll re-start the push-ups and take a walk. I'll post my program when I can.

I'm going to give this the almost 6 weeks till the family visit regardless of my results. The only tweak I might possibly try is 2 weeks of Atkins Induction in October. I'm hoping that since I'm coming off a lax mode that buckling down will finally budge this long maintenance at too-high-a-weight. But if it doesn't, I'm not going to go off the deep-end.

Wish me luck!!

I hereby proclaim my Summer of Serenity a success!

2010-09-06T05:59:00.000-07:00

I wanted to blog yesterday about weighing in today for the first time in a few months so that I could look back and compare that to how I feel now that I've stepped on the scale.

Drumroll please .......

199.5

(I have an analog scale and it registered 199 once, 200 another time, smack dab in between the third, so 199.5 it is)

I'm very happy with this. Considering that I'm coming off a weekend where Saturday night I attended a party where I had more sugar (in the form of, tsk tsk, too many Jello shots) than I've had in years along with some carby snacks, my "real" weight is probably even a pound or so less.

This is the weight I've pretty much been maintaining around for an entire year. So to see this after a summer of lots of parties, treats, almost daily consumption of at least something starchy/carby, sushi like 3X/week for the past month, and yes, probably a bit too much alcohol on more occasions than I care to admit, I'm actually more than very happy with this, I'm pretty ecstatic!

This has me stoked for my weight loss push. Woo hoo!!

T-minus one day until D-day! Oh my ... the Scale?!

2010-09-05T10:48:00.000-07:00

I'm posting some thoughts today so that I can get it out there before I step on the scale tomorrow. I have not weighed myself in probably two months. I'm really curious what that dial will say. I'll admit to being somewhat anxious about it.

It has been so hot this summer, and I've been either working around the house (read: T's or tanks and stretchy cotton pants) or worn true summer clothes the entire time. I did have one pair of lightweight stretch jean capris that were tiiiiiight but comfy when I purchased them in May. I've noticed them being a bit loose of late, but figured this was just the stretching out these type of pants will sometimes do. I do dry them very hot/dry in the dryer periodically to keep myself honest. I don't know if it's being sweaty on a muggy day, but some days they feel quite tight.

Anyway, we've had a few cold nights lately and I've had occasion to put on clothes I haven't worn since May. Yeah, usually I am dutiful about putting on those "skinny jeans" no matter the weather to keep myself honest, but this summer I really tried to RELAX, plus I did have those capris that I figured couldn't have stretched out that much.

So anyway, one item I'm talking about is a jean jacket. The arms on this were a bit snug over any long sleeved shirt and I usually have to hold the cuffs of the shirt when putting the jacket on to keep them from scrunching up. Well, the jacket goes on fine over an ls shirt now. Perhaps the push ups bulked me up a bit and that bulk has subsided just a tad since I haven't been able to do them lately?

Then there's my jeans. Put them on and thought they seemed a bit snug at first, but this was fresh from the dryer. By later that day they were bagging in my butt and thighs. They are quite noticeably looser than they were in May.

So why this post? Because, as I told my husband, I fully expect to get on the scale tomorrow and see the dial whiz past 200. For some reason I just feel like I weigh around 205 right now. I can't explain why I think this, just that I do.
But, I would be lying if I didn't say that I'm hoping to perhaps see the lowest number yet on the scale -- a number actually corresponding to the fit of my clothes.

How will I react either way? Well, if the number is up I won't really care -- except to bemoan how someone my size can weigh this much! If the number is down I'll do a little happy dance before embarking on my planned weight loss phase. I'll deem my summer of serenity an even more resounding success than I already consider it to have been. There's this little bit of me that is hopeful for that surprise, and again, I would be lying if I didn't admit that I will be disappointed if I don't get it.

It is a GORGEOUS day here today. Maybe 80 or even just the high 70's, sunny, just a tad breezy and none of that oppressive humidity we've been dealing with most of the summer. I'm sunning as I type (ain't wireless grand!!).

Hope all of you out there are having a GREAT Labor Day Weekend!

Totally not weight related ...

2010-09-04T05:22:00.000-07:00

...

Our vehicle got totaled by a FedEx truck yesterday. The sucky thing is that this vehicle is worth far less than its *value* to us. We'll see what happens since it was the truck driver's fault. Didn't need this right now (not that one ever needs such things!).

End of Summer :-( Time to get serious!

2010-09-03T04:13:00.000-07:00

It has been very warm here so the passing of August and starting of September went somewhat unnoticed by me. Then I awake this morning to see 9/3/2010 on the bottom right corner of my computer screen.

Summer is always my favorite time of year and I think it's because of spending time outside in the sun and being tan. I've also gotten to spend a fair amount of time in swimming pools ... another summer favorite activity.

So I find myself a bit bummed out this morning that this is slipping away. I hate Fall, mostly because it begets Winter and I'm just not a cold weather person. Hubby and I would have moved south years ago were it not for family. I have a cruise to look forward to in January for a respite from it all.

Last week I moved a home gym that's just been collecting dust in our former home down to our current home. We have an alcove in our bedroom so it has been assembled there for now -- ever reminding me of my upcoming commitment. It's a pretty nice unit that will allow for a complete workout.

So hubby and I are gearing up for a fat loss stint. As I've stated repeatedly, I'm not all that unhappy with my size/appearance these days, but I can see fat left to lose. The progress in terms of tone from just the push ups I was doing has been encouraging. I've been maintaining long enough now, and had enough of a vacation from trying to lose more. It's time to get down to business. Mostly, I would like to see if I can't look even better AND give my knees and ankles a bit more of a break from the load.

I'm going to fashion a work-out schedule that includes both resistance training and some sort of "sprint" training. I have the contraption to turn my bike into a stationary bike so this might be an option for that but I would have to clean out an area for that. Running is out of the question, but we do have some hills in our neighborhood that I could do powerwalk sprints up.

Diet? I'm not really sure what I'll do at the moment. I might be able to get some mileage out of doing Atkins Induction again because it has been quite a while since I've been in a keto-adapted metabolism. OTOH, I might just do a 12-1400 cal/day good old fashioned CRD.

My mindset for losing the bulk of my weight was that I would not do anything I couldn't continue for the long haul. Now that I've had that success and maintenance, and am "starting" from a totally different place (physically and mentally), I'm confident that a focused shorter term plan to produce weight loss will not derail me. There will be no "last hurrah" before D-day (which is Monday Sept 6). I have a couple of other plans in mind and a couple of days to consider them. We will have family from up north visiting in mid-October, so the plan will be for almost 6 weeks of "clean" eating ... whatever that ends up meaning.

It will be quite a change because eating has been very relaxed of late, and I've not been able to do the push ups for a couple of weeks now due to pulling something or whatever. But, I had a super relaxing summer from a weight/body point of view.

Reader Commentary & Response

2010-08-25T05:45:00.000-07:00

I received an email from a reader named Harry containing comments on one of my science posts. As most of the commentary was regarding my personal journey and what has worked for Harry, I thought I would post those here with my responses. One can never discuss strategy in this venture too much IMO!

I commend you on your candid account of your own journey with weight management, and wish you all the best in the future.

Thanks ! And I appreciate the extra effort you made to "post" your comments. Sometimes I'm not sure I should share all this info, but it's out there now!

I have been fortunate enough to have fixed upon a WOE that works for me (after much trial and error and research).

As you've discovered, there's no magic bullet enclosed in the LC method, not for that matter, in any WOE.

The bottom line is that individual responses vary, individual circumstances vary, and as such individual solutions must also vary (within certain physiologically-determined boundaries).

For what it's worth, this is what I found worked for me:

Protein - it's great for satiation, satiety, and the preservation of lean body mass...I make it the main part of every meal.

Definitely this is all highly individual. For example, I could never follow a Nutrisystem like plan. Order a week's menus ahead of time? No way! That's not the way I roll. Protein is key for me too. I believe most of this problems with low fat diets, especially at caloric levels for women, is that too often this results in insufficient protein intake. I've posted quite a bit about protein and satiety over at the science blog. That would be my #1 recommendation for anyone trying to lose weight or avoid gaining it in the first place. If I had my druthers, dietary recs would be built around protein on a gram basis, not a percentage basis, with fewer cautions about "overdoing" it. Protein consumption is naturally limiting. I see no problem advocating at least some of that protein be lean flesh.

Meal frequency - I use intermittent fasting (using different protocols as suits my activities, but I always skip breakfast). This allows me to enjoy some decent sized and palatable meals on a day-in day-out basis while also looking after energy balance.

I'm not sure if I've discussed this much here, but I tried IF formally for several months last summer. It helped me shed 10 lbs the first few weeks, that I've kept off, but just set my plateau a little lower. I did Fast 5, slowly moving the 5 hr eating window to a bit earlier in the day. I also experimented with a "regular" carb day every 4th day and a "semi-Primal" (higher carb from fruits but some non-primal starches) along with the IF. I did the stupid thing of trying Eades 6 Week Cure (I cannot recommend AGAINST this plan strongly enough) that necessitated widening my window, etc. After giving up on that, I just never found my IF groove again. Still, I would say that I loosely intermittently fast perhaps 3-5 days a week. I almost never eat breakfast (do have coffee with H&H) and many days food doesn't pass my lips until after noon. There are days where I eat one meal or even forget to eat anything substantial at all.

Understanding hedonic vs. homeostatic hunger - I find it a lot easier to resist the urges to snack on a tasty morsel now that I realise that it's often just an urge to pleasure myself, rather than feed myself.

In my experience, IF really helped with this part! And I would add "boredom or programmed hunger". Initially doing LC I lost rapidly. Looking back, I wasn't eating a whole lot. As time went by I was eating that extra handful of nuts, hunk of cheese, etc. Was I *really* hungry? This is obviously more difficult with a spouse (as I have) and kids (which I do not) in trying to have meals together, etc.

Psychological acceptance of the need for regular practice of delayed gratification - I found that once I made peace with the fact that keeping a great body would take life-long daily commitment to delayed gratification, I found the yo-yoing stopped. People tend to think "I've got my goal weight - phew!! now I can take a breather"...epic FAIL !

Not sure I can relate so much on this one because this was never really my pattern. (1) I never made it to "goal", and (2) there were other underlying eating disorder issues in my case where I probably intentionally (if subconsciously) gained weight back to a "safe zone". After the first two LC stints, I didn't deliberately go off plan, I just drifted and never made it back. The first time for "no good reason", but the second time because I was experiencing some feelings that seemed heart related. Whatever the cause of these feelings (and I suspect these were hypoglycemic episodes), they were alleviated by eating some carb and I felt better. But this is a very good point. Long term success requires some understanding that this is a "for life" thing. There may be tweaks that can be made along the way, but getting to "goal" is really the easy part in most cases. (OK, the easiER part). Although I'm in a relaxed maintenance mode right now, I don't presume this will be like this forever. As we age we go through changes -- some we can prevent or slow, but others we'll likely have to adapt to. When you've struggled with weight it is easy to look around at those "naturally thin" types and figure that if get thin you can be just like them. While I feel far more "normal" now than I have in my entire adult life, I know in the back of my mind that I have to keep an eye (and a few brain cells) on things.

Resistance training - it's progressive, it's empowering, and it makes you look great naked once the adipose tissue comes off.

This is something I'm trying to work into my life. I've been amazed how "buff" even just my push ups have made me these past few months. Currently sidelined with a weed whacking injury and I sure do feel it :( I don't know about looking great naked, but certainly better :D

Intelligent flexibility - you've got to be able to use some intelligence about your WOE and the way it fits into your life. It's not the end of the world if you over-eat on one meal, or even one day, or even one week. If you intelligently compensate as soon as possible, you'll be fine. The key is to remain 'mindful'.

AMEN!! Amazingly, I almost never overeat anymore. Not saying it doesn't happen, but it is rare. Far more common for me to have small indulgences in not-so-good-for-me foods. But this principle applies to this all the same. If I go to a party I will sample whatever goodies appeal to me there, cognizant that even small amounts of some of these foods pack a caloric punch. I will skip "meals" entirely that day, and/or deliberately eat lightly the next day or so. I think the problem most run into is (and I've no doubt blogged on this) "diet mentality". If you are too rigid as to what eating "on plan" means, then any time you go "off" there is a tendency to go wild with the impending doom of having to go back to the strict confines of "the plan". It is all too easy to push back that re-start date, and before you know it ... I really shouldn't call it "cheating", but that was the term I used and planning it was/is my way of building in flexibility. Having a somewhat restrictive default WOE worked well for me. Lately I'm trying to build in this flexibility on a more daily basis. Seems to be working!

Well, that's it from me...hope it helps!

Cheers Harry

Thanks for reading and commenting. It helps and I hope this discussion might help others.

Sushi!!!

2010-08-24T08:35:00.000-07:00

I've been on a bit of a sushi kick lately. IMO, it is the perfect food for lowER carb diets. Yes, the sticky rice they use has a touch of sugar in it, and the rice is polished (although I've noticed some places offering brown rice sushi, I'm not really interested), but there's magic in the portion control of it all. After all, if I get a carton of fried rice, there's always the chance of doling out more than I think a half a cup is, and even fried rice that doesn't appear greasy seems to have a whole lot of added (who knows what kind of) fat for a whopping calorie count.

A typical order of sushi contains about 30-40g carbs in the rice. You're not likely to overdo as sushi is almost always sold by the "roll" -- be it a hand roll (the cones) or a roll cut into the usual 4-6 pieces. I forgo whatever sauce they may put on the sushi itself and order the hot chili oil -- I like mine hot and chili mixed with soy sauce (or sequentially dipped) works for me! Ginger and wasabi are pretty friendly as well. You can stretch a sushi fest with an order of sashimi (sushi without the rice).

I am well satisfied by a "standard" order of sushi, or if I've not eaten a lot all day, two. That puts my carbs in the 50-75g range while the calories are pretty friendly as well.

My favorite is an eel avocado roll. One place by me makes the most amazing looking rolls with thin sliced avocado on the outside topped with red topiko (flying fish roe/caviar). Unfortunately, my phone pic of the rolls left-over the next day doesn't do justice, but I'll post it anyway. Imagine the caviar a more vibrant red and the fresh avocado bright green/yellow. This is certainly not a low fat food either .... I think it strikes a perfect balance.

According to nutritiondata.com, eel is a pretty good "meat". It is fatty and, although not overly high in PUFA, has an excellent O3:O6 ratio (3.33 in favor of the good omega 3's). The majority of the fat is MUFA.

When to eat

2010-08-19T08:32:00.000-07:00

I'm coming to the realization that there are basically two successful eating strategies for maintaining weight:
1. Eat when hungry only, or 2. Strictly structured/controlled.

Obviously these are extremes on the spectrum, but it seems that muddling around in the middle is where most of us get into trouble.

Strategy 1 requires consumption of whole nutritious foods and really listening to our bodies. We did not evolve in an environment of instant gratification when we got hungry -- we had to go out to hunt and forage. In a world where we're conditioned to eat every few hours barely having to lift a finger to procure food, it really takes some reprogramming to adopt this strategy.

Strategy 2 is more the conventional wisdom for weight control. The old "never go hungry" approach to eat a balanced diet. There are folks who can sustain this, dutifully logging every morsel, or aiming for 500 calories per meal or whatever the strategy.

Unfortunately, in reality, the Western lifestyle doesn't put much stress on the important part of this Strategy 2 If you're going to eat on a schedule rather than according to your body's signals, you need to consciously track/control portions -- your body will not be able to tell you when you're satisfied if you eat when you weren't hungry in the first place! Convenience foods notoriously contain more calories than we think they do. Hence, even if one has a bagel with cream cheese for breakfast, a 6" sub for lunch and a steak with a side of potatoes and veggies for dinner, they may well be over-consuming even without eating all that much. Add in the extra calories from that latte or energy drink and ... When we eat pre-portioned foods, rather than cooking a dish and taking a helping, we also tend to eat more. We're somewhere in the middle.

My personal feeling is that if you can get yourself into Camp 1, it is more "natural" -- perhaps practicing a little delayed gratification or exercising before satisfying a hunger pang every now and again may make this more effective. But if you're more comfortable in Camp 2, then even with LC it is probably best to track and limit portions.

There's no such thing as scheduled ad libitum!

On being the same size for a while

2010-08-17T06:13:00.000-07:00

For most of my adult life, my wardrobe consisted of clothing ranging across several sizes for every season. Every now and then I could get out smaller stuff from storage, but usually it seemed that I had to go out each season and get bigger clothes. I had "goal clothes" that I purchased but never got thin enough to wear. I had clothing that used to fit but when I gained weight, I couldn't bring myself to throw away because I hoped to fit them again. It seemed any time a social occasion came around I never had a thing to wear that fit right.

Most of hubby and my friends and family live a ways away. So we don't see them often and it would make my weight swings even the more obvious to them. When you see folks infrequently what you wear and how you look seems to have a bigger impact. That's just a human reaction, not being petty or anything. But there's nothing worse than that "look" of "whoa she gained a lot of weight" coupled with searching for words of greeting that don't say it out loud!

This past weekend was one such occasion for a birthday party of the closest thing my husband has to a sister. He's known these people all his life, I've known them for more than 15 years now. When they met me I weighed around 40 lbs less than I do now, but with my body change everyone thinks I'm thinner now -- go figure. But I digress because that's not the purpose of this post.

I had such a fun, relaxing time at the party and I was thinking how this is really something new for me. In packing for the weekend, I picked a couple of outfits from the drawer and knew that come party time I could put whichever one I ultimately decided to wear on, and it would fit and look good. As I dressed for the party I had flashbacks of how I used to put an outfit on for a party and it would inevitably be too tight. I would have to find something else or more commonly have to go through the whole party with too-tight pants. This resulted in being uncomfortable both physically and psychologically feeling like everyone was wondering what I was doing wearing them. Or I would default back to the sweat pants/sheeting drawstring pants and baggy tee shirts, that, frankly, are almost never flattering at any weight, and schleppy looking. In any case I would start the day out feeling not-so-great about myself and very self conscious. I would dread the initial reactions.

Now that I've been about the same size (or slightly smaller) for going on two years now, I've amassed a fairly extensive wardrobe -- all the same size! No, I haven't gone into hoc for it either. It is cheaper to stay the same size, and I have the luxury of buying some special items I wear once or twice a year. But as I dressed for this party, I realized I wasn't that cranky person who dreaded going simply because I worried over what people would think of me. I actually looked forward to seeing everyone.

In the past, once at the party I would be self conscious about what I ate as well. I was never a public overeater. But I probably drew even more attention to myself by not eating much at most of these events. Mostly the last thing you want to do is eat and drink a lot when your waistband is already straining or you don't want to risk breaking a zipper to get pants off and on to use the bathroom!

It wasn't until the party was over and we were driving home that it hit me how much I just enjoyed myself. There were some cultural foods, foods my late mother in law used to make, and some family classics. I had a little of everything I wanted and passed on that which didn't trip my fancy. I didn't spend a minute thinking about weight or appearance and just really enjoyed the conversations and food.

This is such a BLESSING of getting off that diet rollercoaster and is independent of the actual weight I've stabilized out at. What an amazing feeling!!

Random thoughts on Celebrity weight loss stories ...

2010-08-10T09:44:00.000-07:00

Just a few comments because, yet again, we have some c eleb buzz on weight loss and it's Drew Carey dropping 80 lbs on low carb (apparently low fat as well). As I recall, Carey did drop a modicum of pounds a while back and put it back on. So, as with all such stories, I'm going to hold the kudos and reaction until I see him a year or more from now. Edit: I just realized I contradicted myself in this post as regards congratulations/kudos. I do congratulate Drew and anyone who has achieved such monumental transformative weight loss. What I'll hold off on, however, is holding him up as a role model until I see some long term stick-to-itiveness.

John Goodman has dropped 100+ lbs by eliminating sugar (no other details) and I've seen mention of his weight loss in LC circles as well.

Yes, it is good to "claim" celebs as examples of weight loss success. But I caution restraint to see if it "takes" before proclaiming victory.

There are other examples of different plans: Angie Everhardt, Jennifer Hudson, Valerie Bertinelli ... And to delve back further Kirstie Alley, Oprah (X1,2,3 ....), Carnie Wilson, Rosanne, the list goes on and on.

Sadly, for all their additional resources and incentive to maintain the losses, the record of long term celebrity weight loss success seems to be no better than that of us peons at large -- the hands down poster celeb for this being Oprah.

So to Drew Carey I send my sincere congrats. I hope he finds a way to turn the weight loss into a lifetime of healthy living at a healthy weight. But my days of being inspired by massive weight losses that are not maintained are long over ... least of which when it is a celebrity.

What I'm doing these days ...

2010-08-10T04:30:00.000-07:00

I've pretty much been the same weight for a year now regardless of the various dietary experiments I've tried. At the beginning of the summer I was gung ho to make another "push" downward, but as the summer progressed other life issues have been pushed to the front burner and I just lost the mojo for it.

Frankly, it was getting unnecessarily stressful to hop on the scale every Wed. to record the pound up, pound down, whatever. I kept thinking of starting an exercise regime but never seemed to actually do it. I just decided one day not to step on the scale and give myself a break. As for exercise, I'm still doing my push ups, but that is the only formal exercise I get. I'm deliberate in trying to put some extra activity in my day, and "sprinting" by running up stairs, etc., but this is all extremely unstructured.

My eating these days is also relaxed. I have been eating a few more carbs -- been on a sushi kick lately, and corn is in full season. I would say half the days I'm intermittent fasting without trying -- IOW, I eat when I get hungry and quite often that is not until 2-3 o'clock in the afternoon. Probably half of those days, whatever I eat in the afternoon is all I eat. Other days, I tend to nosh here and there throughout the day. I don't eat any junk. I've never been a sugar junkie so it astounds me sometimes how few carbs I eat even on a carby day. I just don't eat a whole lot. I try to get maximum nutrition and satisfaction from what I do eat. I suspect if I put a food diary through FitDay it would come out 20-30% carb, 30-40% protein, 30-50% fat but don't know what that really means ;-)

Am I afraid of gaining? To be honest, there were a few days in the first couple of weeks where I felt like I had put on a few pounds. But I didn't weigh the entire time I lost the weight so I see no reason why I can't just go by my "skinny jeans" to keep me honest. It's all about size to me anyway. If I obsessed over my weight it would drive me crazy. But after doing this for over a month now, I think I may have actually lost some. It's neither here nor there. This very relaxed approach to my weight has been quite liberating.

I do still want to make that next push, but I know myself. Unless my heart is in it, it is counter-productive to even try. Why do I say that? Because if I'm not completely motivated, I'm going to "fail" and start feeling bad about myself when there's no reason to. Right now I'm enjoying where I'm at so I'll just wait for a wave of motivation to wash over me and not force the issue.

Push Up-date

2010-08-03T10:34:00.000-07:00

I've been a bit lax updating my push ups so thought I would post an update. I'm still doing the 100 real pushup challenge but with travel and working I've plain forgotten some days.

Today I finished Week 5 of Column 1 for a total of 120 pushups! 30 on the last set.

Y'know, I'm not so sure that spot toning isn't possible through exercise b/c one of my battle scars, as I call them, is those dreaded batwings. I have not lost weight (maybe even gained a pound or two but I'm avoiding the scales these days) but my arms look a whole lot better than they did back in March (or April) when I started the knee pushup challenge. And it wasn't just toning up muscle under the fat ... the fat on my arms is visibly reduced.

This has me contemplating a SERIOUS ab routine to see if my other nemesis can be reigned in with exercise.

Low Carb and Eating Disorders

2010-07-28T06:49:00.000-07:00

Let's face it, a large portion of the obese got that way through some sort of disordered eating behavior. Whether it has a name or not, "normal" folks tend to gain weight a little at a time in certain phases of life, but for most of those who become truly obese there's other underlying factors.

In my case heading towards anorexia turned to "classic" bulimia followed by longer periods of fasting/binging followed by even longer cycles of restrictive diets and binging. Oddly enough, my eating disorder was somewhat protective. Although I would get up to the 200 range a few times, I always stopped there and went back down.

I discovered Atkins in my early 30's after one cycle of overeating brought me over the 200 mark once again. I credit Atkins/low carb for "curing" my eating disorder -- or at least one aspect of it. I was able to lose weight quickly eating all of these "fattening foods" without being hungry or (too) deprived. Lost 40 lbs but eventually I did find the carb restriction prohibitive.

So here's where I feel the flip side of low carbing rears its ugly head and feed into an eating disorder. I don't think I was alone in not even wanting to work up the "rungs" when on plan. I was afraid to mess with success and the rapid losses fit right in with my familiar pattern of rigid dieting/rapid weight loss. But low carbing is not so easy for most people. After a while I notice that folks do one of two things: add in as many LC substitute foods and "mock" recipes as possible -- usually leading to a stall -- or go "off plan" (which usually means carb binging). The way the original Atkins is laid out, there's something magical about ketosis for weight loss. I was convinced that if I came out of ketosis I would not lose weight. Atkins admonished that even so much as a spoon of mashed potatoes or a bite of bread could upset the delicate balance and undo days if not weeks of effort. If that's not a recipe for an eating disorder, I don't know what is. Add to the fact that one carby day w/o even binging could add 5lbs or more to the number on the scale (water folks!!) and that will really mess with the mind of someone with an eating disorder.

No doubt, especially in the early goings where "product" is avoided, the diet is more nutritious than junk. In the relatively short term this WOE does stabilize blood sugars and the protein content of the foods generally keeps you from overeating. But what of these reported carb cravings? I just don't believe there is a physiological reason for them unless it's our body's way of saying "eat some carb so my glycogen stores can be full for a change". Couple that with the weight bounce and it's a recipe for a binge.

But folks, the act of binging, is a deliberate act of a being capable of higher thinking. If one has a hard time sticking to a weight loss plan, they need to do the mental part. And be kind to yourself but honest with yourself. As difficult as it is to live in an oversized body, many of us actually feel safer doing so. Once we're obese it's almost reverse bulimia when you think about it. Most bulimics utilize various tactics to maintain a relatively normal weight. While I'm sure some employ those tactics daily, others like myself probably went in phases. Bulimics may sport a few extra pounds, but there's always an upper tipping point to trigger a weight loss tactic (whether classic purging or fasting or compulsive exercise, etc.). Bulimics almost invariably see themselves as fatter than they are, and in my experience, binges are triggered by something "bad" occuring when one is their "desired" thin self. {{ I've decided to do a separate post focusing more on the emotional aspects of my eating disorders sometime in the near future.}} Many of the obese use their fat to shield them from the world and they have a reverse tipping point. How many times (on weight loss sites/blogs) have you read something along the lines of "people are starting to notice" and then the person slips up and relapses back up to their safe weight. With LC there will be noticeable changes probably earlier on than other reducing diets so you might not be "ready" for the attention. And relapsing somehow seems to pile the weight back on faster (anecdotal there) -- both of which feed the eating disorder of obesity.

I would be remiss if I didn't add one more thing I contemplate from time to time. The blame game. In the end, when I probably weighed 300 lbs, did it REALLY matter how I got there? Who was at fault. C'mon anyone who is reading this and thinking USDA dietary recs or low fat dogma or Ancel Keys or carbohydrate addiction or whatever is to blame. No ... in the end, for most of us that get to that point, when we point a finger of blame elsewhere we must remember there are three pointing back at us. I think one of the reasons, perhaps the major reason, that Taubes' book is so popular is that it offered that absolution. Surely it is nobody's fault that they are obese, and it's not our faults either that we fail to lose the weight because we're given bad advice. My best advice to anyone who is getting angry at me right now for saying this is to dig deep and be brutally honest with yourself. Except for a very rare few with true metabolic disorders (pre-existing) we are ultimately responsible for our own obesity. If low carb works for you to lose weight but you can't stick to it, it is not the carbs fault. At the risk of sounding psycho-babbly, it's your relationship with the carbs that causes the diet to fail.

So to those who go through repeated cycles of what I'll call reverse-bulimia, there will be no magic diet or surgery for you. Indeed LC and/or bariatric surgery may cause such rapid losses that your head doesn't get a chance to catch up with your new body. I think most obese people at least fantasize that if they could only snap their fingers and become magically thin, they would then "eat like a normal person" and stay that way. I have a name for you on that one: Carnie Wilson and there are many more.

True success lies in figuring out your reasons for getting and staying obese and then finding a plan you can stick with consistently for the long term. If you are one of those who cannot stick to LC and goes up and down the scale, there's something underlying that that has nothing to do with any one macronutrient. In some cases therapy may be required, but it is possible to heal thyself. I did. I'm sorry if this sounds preachy ... that is not my intent. But the only thing worse for your body than obesity is constantly cycling massive amounts of weight . If this is you, consider working on the mental aspect.

Response to Reader Email re: Weight Struggles and VLC

2010-07-13T07:46:00.000-07:00

I received the following email query from a reader: (Apologies in advance for the length of this)

I see that you were very successful in losing the weight you had struggled with by adopting a VLC diet which is fantastic. I also see that you seem to disagree that the reason why you lost the weight was because of the low carb aspect of the VLC diet and attribute the loss to less total calories. I’m curious, why then did you struggle for so long and then not struggle on the VLCD?

My first thought on this was that this reader didn't seem to grasp what all is involved for those of us struggling for decades with this issue. Perhaps this male reader has not discussed this issue with enough people, women in particular? It is not all about diet. If it were, overweight and obesity could be easily cured -- calorie restriction, however achieved, works each and every time it is tried -- it is really a matter of commitment, compliance and consistency.

You know, my mom has been overweight to some degree for as long as I can remember and has gained or lost 30 lbs here and there. And yet I'm not sure she would describe her situation as a "life long struggle" as I do. There are any number of overweight people out there who accept a modicum of extra pounds and essentially stay at that size. I had even come to envy some of these folks who are comfortable in their skin albeit a larger size than the "norm". There are those who doubt the sincerity of some in the fat acceptance movement, and no doubt there are those in that arena who are in denial, but I do not doubt the sincerity of many of my close friends with whom I've discussed this issue.

I also think this reader read my profile and concluded that I struggled with my weight then found magical success with VLC. It was not that simple. Here is my weight history I blogged on previously. This was my third try with low carb, and after the first two stints my weight skyrocketed past previous highs.

I've never had a hard time losing weight on any number of plans, LC included. But I have not eaten "normally" since my first crash diet in my late teens. I was always either on a diet or off a diet (usually that meant binging). The two times I previously achieved personal adult lows in size/weight were times of months of consistent physical activity and careful eating. The first time with the classic low fat diet and running/biking/swimming, the second time coupling Atkins with a very active job.

I credit Atkins with curing my eating disorder for once and for all. Losing 40 lbs on Atkins proved to me that I could not only not gain, but actually lose weight eating "fattening" foods like bacon, creamy dressings, etc. I had done some of the "mental work" on the disorders prior. There is magic in the "eat when hungry stop when full" mantra. Perhaps this is why I regained and blasted right through my previous weight ceiling. In the past the eating disorder always had a "breaking point" that got me to make an effort to shed the weight. But I couldn't get back on the LC wagon and just ate too much all the time. Since I was married at the time to a man who loves me at any size, the motivations/concerns of the single days were gone too.

When I finally addressed this weight gain the only program I could see myself sticking to long enough to lose this massive amount of weight was LC. I'm not a very organized person who can log foods, plan menus, etc. It was wildly successful but I had serious health concerns that time. Prior to losing the weight (and this was one impetus for doing so), I would have pounding/racing heart -- so loud in my ears it would wake me up! After losing the weight, I had fewer of those episodes, but started having these feelings like I was having a heart attack -- tingly left arm, chest tightness/pain, difficulty breathing, nausea. Thorough testing showed nothing cardiovascular was wrong. A few carbs made these symptoms go away ... I drifted ... I gained, and gained, and gained. Somewhere there's a walk-in center that has my high weight in its records, but I didn't want to know that number.

The only thing more horrible for me than weighing 265+ was having lost the weight, regained and knowing the number was far higher. This is mentally debilitating. Weight swings are mentally debilitating. There's nothing worse than seeing people you haven't seen in a while and knowing they are thinking "she got SO fat (again)". Many struggle with alcohol or gambling or compulsive buying and such issues. These can be largely hidden from the public. Not so struggles with food/eating -- the consequences are on display for everyone to see.

I actually spent a couple of years arguing with myself whether it was worth it to even try again. I would rather try to be a happy stable-weight fat person and deal with minor issues (mostly aches and pains and getting winded here and there) than go through that torture of regaining such massive amounts of weight and gain even more again. I was actually somewhat in that groove until I saw a picture of me circa April 2007. That just wasn't ME. Still took a few more months before I would try to do something about it.

I looked back at the last time I lost a lot of weight and kept it off for a time and felt the most "normal". I mostly watched my eating, but I allowed a beer and slice of pizza after a softball game and things like that. Still, I knew that LC would result in the most "effortless" weight loss and now I was facing 100+ lbs to lose, but history told me that I could not do the plan forever, and certainly not long enough to shed all the weight. I had to get over the diet mentality, and that also meant letting go of some "magic" of low carb diets. In his first book, Dr. Atkins clearly boasts that caloric losses through ketones are responsible for rapid losses on a "high calorie" diet. His plan is structured around remaining in ketosis, but I had never been able to get out of Induction my first two tries. Atkins cautioned against even so much as a bite of mashed potatoes which could (paraphrase) undo days or even weeks of LC weight loss.

No science, no research ... just common sense. I asked myself how could this Atkins admonishment possibly be true? (And we now know ketone losses are not significant calorie "wasters") I previously became so carb-paranoid doing LC that if I had something with an extra 10g carbs in it I figured I might as well throw in the towel and eat all the carbs in sight because I had already "blown it". Does that make sense? Logically I had to say no. I went back to thinking about my other diet days. I would play games with binging -- a 1 lb box of cookies could not cause me to gain more than a pound in the end. If I was in 500 cal deficit and ate 1000 calories more than plan, I would gain 1/7th pound that day vs. lose that. Somehow these simple truths went out the window with low carb? No ... that didn't make sense. The rungs, pre-maintenance and maintenance plans on Atkins never really appealed to me. I do not see replacing an obsession over fat and calories with an obsession over carbs to be an ultimate victory so I had to get past that.

I knew that on <20g carbs I could lose weight. I relaxed the veggie restrictions, never counted, but eating mostly meat/fish/veggies it is difficult to exceed 20-30g. I made an effort to eat some lower fat proteins in there too. I never weighed until last Spring '09. I really think this was a key because had I seen stalls and had to deal with that stupid scale number I probably would have abandoned ship out of frustration somewhere along the line. It has taken me the better part of a year to wrap my head around how much I still weigh as it is!!

The web is full of low carb discussion forums and blogs chronicling ups and downs. LC bloggers are honest and open about their regains and/or ups and downs. I now know that LC's long term reputation is for max losses for ~6 months followed by some regain (on average). I also can't count the number of accounts I've read of folks "confessing" going off plan for days, weeks or months at a time. This was not going to be me this time. After decades of yo yo-ing I see/saw no utility in losing weight if I was just going to regain it. Sounds so simple, but it was my personal epiphany "light bulb over head" moment to design my own plan to conquer this for good and for the rest of my life.

I resurrected a mindset from my pre-LC days regarding substitute foods. Even in my low fat days I eventually realized I didn't get any enjoyment from fat free fruity yogurt, so I didn't eat it. No amount of LF margarine could replace the taste of a (30 calorie!) pat of real butter. So if I enjoyed an LF food (like 2% cottage cheese, real reduced fat cheddar, etc) I ate it. If I didn't, I would eat the "real deal" in moderation. Well there's certainly no lack of delish LC foods to choose from to enjoy. I also enjoy the LC wraps so see no reason to eat regular ones or bread, etc. But IMO, there are no good LC substitutes for certain foods like corn on the cob, herb roasted potatoes, Chinese fried rice, certain ethnic foods from hubby's culture, etc. One is led to believe that these things are horribly dangerous and will spoil weight loss even if eaten in moderation. Here is my issue with LC -- with LF/CRD's one can "splurge" on just about anything without it reflecting on the scale to any great extent or ruining one's effort. But there is no way to really incorporate any "treats" into the confines of LC, and if one steps on the scale after trying one is getting an exaggerated picture of what is really going on.

I really believe my success this time is grounded at least as much, and perhaps moreso, in my planned cheats as it is on the low carb basis of my WOE. I knew that, for me, I could lose the most weight with the least effort eating VLC for extended periods, so that was how I ate most days. But I also knew I couldn't do without having some of my favorite foods every now and then for all eternity. Rather than having some 30g LC substitute food, I needed not to feel deprived of all my favorite foods. I set out some rules for cheating:

1. Plan -- Cheats are never impulses. Usually these are planned well in advance (vacations and get-aways), but a cheat could be planned same day. The thing is it has to be a conscious consideration, not just smelling something yummy and getting it. Plan the beginning and the end. No negotiations on the end. It is especially tempting when returning from a long vacation to eat off-plan for one more day. I actually plan for one more "wind down" day after longer vacas and have never had an issue getting right back to basics the next day.

2. Eat only "Worthy Food": Just because it's there doesn't mean you have to eat it. For example we went on a cruise about 6 months into my weight loss. The desserts on the dinner menu didn't really appeal to me, so I skipped most of them (except for the cheesecake one night). But I had sushi nearly every day as I love sushi.

3. Do not binge/Watch Portions: My plan will not work for anyone who cannot do this. Here's my mind game: I can have this again next week if I want it so there's no reason to eat as much as I can stuff in my pie hole now. As a former binge eater who does not even have an urge to overeat anymore, I'm telling you it can be overcome!! When you think about eating a food you love, it is the first few bites that are truly enjoyable -- there is no joy and only regret and other negative emotions that goes along with the rest. Savor foods like you WILL be able to savor them again. Cheats are not free for alls. No "well it's a cheat day so I'm going to have XYZ even though I'm not hungry right now". There will be other yummy food another day.

Wow .... this has turned out even longer than I had thought on the outset, but I wanted to share this part of my reply publicly -- maybe someone reads something that clicks for them?

I'm in this most amazing place in my life lately. I do weigh more than I would like, but I'm not all that unhappy with my size. I actually think that for the first time in my life I'm seeing in the mirror the same person that other people see. This is huge! And at the risk of boasting just a bit, hubby calls me his "kitten" these days -- were I single I could be one of those cougars, but I don't look near my age, hence kitten. I'm eating up all the male attention I get lately too. I'm marking a 3 year anniversary of steady weight losses and maintenance with no backslide and no fear of backsliding either. I repeat this story, I know, but anyone who has ever struggled with the weight roller coaster can probably relate to how amazing it is to actually wear out a pair of jeans! I've never fit the same size of anything long enough to wear them out!! I used to have closets and boxes full of clothes in a range of sizes as season-to-season I was never the same size. It was an awesome thing when it got unseasonably warm one day this past Spring. Already running late for work, I had to find a lighter top, reached under the bed and voila! It fit (perhaps even a bit better). I do not obsess over the scale number although I do want to weigh less for my joints' sake. I still have questions and concerns. But these days I'm so comfy in my skin. I eat VLC most days but I don't sweat the carbs when I want a bite or two of hubby's food. I try to do fewer "cheats" and am working on simply eating more "normally" most days and listening to my body. You know what? In doing so I find I just don't go for the carbs much. I eat for nutrition and health, but will not deny eating for pleasure as well.

Life is good!!

Personal reasons for my research

2010-07-09T05:34:00.000-07:00

I'm often misinterpreted as "bashing" low carb diets, but that is not my mission. My mission is to prove to myself that my current WOE is best and healthiest for me. There's a lot of noise to filter out from mainstream nutritionists and the medical community. But I've found there's a lot of noise coming from the LC "movement" to be filtered through.

One example is the saturated fat debate. I have long felt that the demonization of sat fats was misguided. But the fact that there is little evidence that sat fats are inherently unhealthy doesn't mean that they are healthy in the large quantities a VLCer might consume just because there's no carbs in the diet.

This is not the first time I've shed a lot of weight rapidly on an Atkins style diet. In my 20's and early 30's I struggled with my weight with various diet and exercise bouts, but always seemed to top out in the 200-210 lb range. My body type was Paula Abdul or JLo. After losing 40 lbs doing Atkins the fist time (rigid Induction) my body type already begun to change -- I was wearing smaller pants at a higher weight than I had in ages, but no more crop tops for me, as I now had a belly roll. Then I gained 100 lbs -- blew right through my former "ceiling" to become truly obese. My body was classic MetS and I had a huge belly. Round 2 I lost the 60 extra that I had tacked on and again, I was smaller in size for my weight, but the weight distribution had progressed further. I also experienced racing heart and strange skiddly symptoms that were probably related to hypoglycemia, sometimes brought on by mild exercise, sometimes out of the blue. All I know is that this scared the bejeebers out of me and eating a few carbs alleviated the problem. This led to drifting off LC, regaining the weight and piling on still more. Knowing what I weigh now, I probably topped 300 with an even bigger belly. I knew LC worked for me to lose weight but I did not want to cycle again. So I developed my long term approach which was VLC most days with planned cheats. Having now gotten down to around 200, nobody thinks I weigh this much. Most of the excess weight remains in my belly and upper arms (and my chest has not deflated) and I can wear pants that I last wore when I weighed 160! This time I haven't really experienced those symptoms although the one episode I did experience correlated with a BG in the mid 60's.

So on the health front I can boil my concerns down to two:
1. Is the dramatic change in my body composition and distribution of my fat weight from the pear to more apple good? Same for the 2+ cup size increase since my size at age 20. All the reports say my former bottom heavy body shape was healthier.
2. Although fairly extensive tests show nothing wrong with my heart, should I be worried over all the info I come across on LC and NEFA?

So for me this is personal. I want very much to confirm that my WOE is healthy. My philosophy is also to err on the side of caution.

Gotta share cuz it's just so cool!!

2010-07-02T16:53:00.000-07:00

So here I am, a menopausal woman weighing in at close to 200 lbs. Hubby has some work friends over for a BBQ -- early 30's. Had to drive one of them to work this morning as we will not let drinkers drive. He told my hubby that 1. If he met a woman like me he would marry her tomorrow, and 2. That I have a great tushy! LOL

MAJOR ego boost! Life is good here in my semi sane world!!

The Difference This Time IV: Here Comes the Sun!!

2010-06-25T09:20:00.000-07:00

As I sit here all browned up from a few days of working outside in the sun, I think it is worth noting that this has been different this time on more than just a cosmetic level.

As a kid/teen I was out of doors a lot in the summertime especially. As I got older I had outdoor jobs. My olive skin tans easily. I look better tan ... and frankly, I feel better. Also, we vacationed yearly to someplace warm and sunny.

In my 20's and 30's I always lost weight in the summers, gained in the winter. I suffered from a good bit of S.A.D. No more regular winter vacations so my skin got that yucky greenish hue to it. I also spent a LOT less time outside in cold weather than I did as a kid. Work was not indoors 365 (or however many days you work per year!).

Anyway ... through no major planning, the past 3 years, I feel like I've re-discovered my inner Sun Child. I began this change of lifestyle around this time of year, and we vacationed in the even hotter desert in August. Normally I would wear 3/4 sleeves and long sheeting pants in the summers -- modesty (paranoia?) trumped comfort. This time? Well, I finally just said the heck with it. Bought my first bathing suit in YEARS and wore it in the pool on that vacation. Wore tank tops. Got tan on more than just my face and forearms for a change. Six months later we went on a cruise. I was already down to 14's (in my progress pants, down from the 20/22W) at that time. I went to a tanning salon for a few sessions to get a base before going and got tan, tan, tan. Since that time I've gone on some sort of warm-place vacation mid winter, AND I will occasionally go to a tanning salon -- not so that I'm dark brown mid winter, but I keep a nice color base.

There is something about this that has really changed my whole demeanor and feelings of youthfulness.

I suppose I could fear skin cancer, but I just don't -- or it's way down the list. The unhealthfulness of my former obesity was far worse. Wrinkles? Maybe it's my type of skin and/or genes, but I jokingly told someone I was 25 the other day and he believed me! LOL

Dietary Holding Pattern & Exercise Options

2010-06-22T12:04:00.000-07:00

Just thinking out loud here to have a point of reference...

For most of 2010 I've weighed between say 197 and 203 mostly oscillating around the 199 mark. This is about 10 lbs less than where I was oscillating around a little more than a year ago, and close to the low mark I hit around a year ago after trying IF.

To be honest, I'm just not into radical dietary changes right now. It has really been an amazing transformation for me to not think about every little morsel that passes through my lips and not gain weight. Better yet celebrate 2 years of wearing essentially the same size ... and considerably smaller than they used to be ... jeans.

Yes, my friends, I've actually WORN OUT a pair of jeans!! Those of you who have never been in the clutches of the weight yo yo/rollercoaster/whatever will not appreciate this huge accomplishment, but fellow travelers on that path will surely relate to how utterly huge this is.

But in these moments of reflection, coming off a weekend with the family where I "ate normally" and feel great, I also take stock of the priorities at the moment, and losing weight is just not that high on the list right now. But one thing that is is trying to work potential plastic surgery for loose skin, etc. into finances and career plans in the near future. Again, in all honesty, this is about 70% vanity and 30% necessity. I do have a lot of loose skin, but I could live with it. OTOH, if I'm going to do something about it surgically, I'm at a point of better sooner than later.

I'm now into Week 2 of the 100 Push up program for REAL pushups. I look at and feel my arms and know that these are really helping. I do 2 sets of 20 knee pushups just to warm up for the real thing. I can't say the batwings are all gone, but there really is an improvement so I've somewhat re-evaluated the acceptance of my loose skin as inevitable at my age for my degree of weight loss. Not saying I'll be able to totally reverse the decades of damage, but that there ARE noticeable differences in the absence of weight los

I've been reading quite a bit about HIIT of late (I'll blog on the science side over at the Asylum). So I'm going to incorporate some HIIT bodyweight exercises into my daily routine to see if that doesn't shake things up a bit. I have no motivation right now for drastic dietary experiments, but do seem to feel a surge of energy as I think about plyometric exercises, sprints and the like.

I'll post my program within the next day or so.

I DID 100 Push Ups!

2010-06-12T10:19:00.001-07:00

Now on up to my toesies :)

100 Pushup - Onward

2010-06-06T10:33:00.000-07:00

So after a test (1 set 15 before 82 max) I'm repeating W6C3 as written. I NEED to do a few sets of several pushups to warm up. Today I did W6C3D1 and managed 75 on the 5th set!!!

100 Pushup - Tenth Week Update

2010-05-30T09:02:00.000-07:00

So I'm now on my 10th week of doing the 100 Pushup Challenge. Obviously, I've had to modify the program a bit, something that started in Week 5. The progression of the last two weeks of the specified program is simply too aggressive. So I've been making my own progression based on the program -- often averaging the first and second columns.

Last week I completed Week 6 Column 2 (almost, did a bit less for Day 1) and tested on Monday: 76

That was a bit disappointing, but considering I started out at 8 ... :-)

So I'm doing Week 6 Column 3 (again with a bit less for Day 1). Yesterday I completed Day 2 as written and even exceeded the last set minimum by 2 for a total of 250!!!!

The Difference This Time III

2010-05-19T05:01:00.000-07:00

Returning from a short visit with family and an old friend has me again reminiscing over the changes that have led to long term success this time.

The best way to describe this one has to be perhaps re-setting my default mindset regarding eating. Even on cheats, or perhaps especially when "cheating", I do not overeat quantity-wise. For example in the past, cheating would have meant "I'm off the diet for the entire weekend" so eat away. But I skipped breakfast two days and had bacon and eggs the third. Dinner out I did have a carby appetizer but it was a small serving split with my husband. Same for one dessert which was split 4 ways. At the BBQ party, I skipped all chips and such, coleslaw and pasta salads, but I did enjoy a few of the heavenly herb roasted baby potatoes. At the reception the next day, again, previously I would have just eaten everything. This time I had a lot of green beans and salad and mostly ham for protein. However I did have one breaded cutlet removing some of the breading, a crepe (small folded roll) and a sliver of lemon cake. In years past I would have had two or more cutlets, a few crepes and probably added the pasta just because. Now, if I'm going to eat carbs, it's going to be good carbs. And by that I don't mean wholegrain or stuff like that, I mean worth the carbs AND the calories, because let's be honest, the good carby foods tend to pack a fat/calorie whollop as well. Savoring every bite of one crepe was enough. Same with the sliver of cake, etc. I think it all comes down to finding a balance where one does not feel deprived, but since I know I'll have cake or crepes or whatever again sometime, there's just no need to overdo ... EVER.

The Difference This Time II

2010-05-11T09:12:00.000-07:00

Dressing in the now to put my best foot forward.

Nothing says weight issue more than ill fitting clothes. So, obviously, while losing weight clothing can't fit perfectly all the time, I made a conscious effort to do the best to wear flattering, fitting clothing the whole time. No more buying too small clothing, no more hanging on to the fat clothes. The only too-small clothing I bought was accidental (mail) and one pair of pants a size smaller to gauge weight b/c I didn't weigh.

I tried to be more of a Delta Burke than a Berta (from Two and a Half Men). Also dressing "as if". In this way I really enjoyed the journey rather than putting my life on hold. In the past I was especially wary of buying something nice or a little more expensive -- I'll buy that when I'm a certain size, or I want to lose more weight and then it won't fit me. But this time I didn't put that on hold and it made a huge difference always having a wardrobe that fit and looked nice to choose from rather than "nothing to wear". Thing I've discovered is, if money is tight, when you buy nice stuff, you can sell it.

Whatever the downside of not wanting to "shrink" out of clothes is, I suppose I countered with getting rid of stuff 2 sizes bigger. Turns out I could have even done one size bigger as I never backslid more than a bit of a snugger fit out of the dryer. I figured it would be more expensive to do so if I did backslide, but that disincentive can be powerful too.

The Difference This Time I

2010-05-10T03:26:00.000-07:00

I've been doing some reflection on this journey lately so I thought I would put down a few words now and then about what was different this time from all those other times I lost weight and regained and was stuck on that relentless roller coaster. So ...

Weight loss was not the focus so much as eating healthier. I had no goal, no timeframe in mind. I figured my body was going to lose weight at its own rate so I wasn't in any particular rush. To be honest, I also had no desire to see the numbers on the scale. For all I know I was over 300 lbs, I was definitely in the 280+ range. I didn't weigh at all for almost 2 years. I purchased pants one size smaller progressively as I lost weight. This was enough to motivate, keep me honest and gauge progress.

Even now, I find setting goals is not much use to me towards achieving them. It is more important for me to set habit goals for eating and exercise rather than weight/size goals. I have to keep reminding myself of this these days.

My weight history

2010-05-02T06:46:00.000-07:00

Up to age 15-16, skinny athletic kid
Puberty + junk food = ~20 extra lbs, still athletic
Age 16-17 go on a crash diet and lose almost 30 lbs.
Maintained this weight loss through classic bulimic tactics for a year and a half but ultimately couldn't stop the binge. Gain 55 lbs freshman year of college. Second semester marked the end of athletics mostly for me.
Spent the remainder of college going up and down, up more each time. Summer before senior year weighed 203 lbs after a 3 day fast, thus almost doubling weight entering college. Athletic activity was sporadic and frustrating.
Spent the majority of my 20's repeating diet/binge cycles mostly staying down in the 170's & 180's. There were times in there when I was in pretty good shape although I weighed in the 160's most of those times. Did make it down to 145 once! One would no longer class me as a bulimic, as I didn't "purge", but alternated diet&exercise phases with binge eating.
I was relatively thin for me when I met and married my hubby. Pressure off, but bad eating habits compounded by his bad eating habits and weight went up a bit, down a bit. Fewer binges, but after the first few years of marriage I was back up over 200 lbs.
Atkins round 1: While very active I did my first attempt at this diet. To the "tee". Lost 40 lbs and wore size 8 pants! Body shape change was evident as now I had a bit of a belly where usually I would lose that first.
End of summer and active job and going off the plan, the pounds piled back on and I just got fatter and fatter and fatter until I had added 60+ lbs to the pre-Atkins weight!! This was WITHOUT the usual binging, just eating and drinking too much.
Atkins round 2: Weighing in at 267 lbs (after dieting a bit already) was a huge psychological blow. Followed the diet "to a tee" for several long stints so that 2 years later I was down to wearing size 12's but still weighed 209 lbs.
Life situations led to going off Atkins and not able to get back on the wagon. I think my weird heart-like symptoms were episodes of hypoglycemia but no way to know for sure. I do not know how much I weighed at my largest, but pictures don't lie. I say mid 280's, hubby thinks over 300 lbs. Pants size was a tight stretched out 20W so really 22W to be realistic. Huge belly! Again, got this fat/fatter w/o binging.
Summer of 2007 I decided to give Low Carb one more try. Never weighed. By ~10 months later I was wearing size 12 pants in the same style/brand as I used to wear 20W's, after 15 months I was wearing size 10's. Since the Fall of 2008 my bottom half hasn't changed much, but I seemed to lose some from the top.
April 2009: Not losing weight, maybe even feel like I'm gaining. Decide to face the scale: 209! YIKES! How can that be??
Today: Just less than 200 lbs. Still trying to get down to around 170. I wear size 10 pants despite this weight. I chalk that up to dense bones and being rather muscular. Body type has changed totally as I'm still full busted and have the annoying belly roll and muffin top. Look pretty good in clothes. I feel like I'm hiding some deep secret at times ... if people only knew!

On Dietary Purity

2010-04-20T05:42:00.000-07:00

Hats off to those who can stick to a strict dietary regime, no matter its composition, in this crazy modern world.

What of the rest of us?

It seems logical to me that given the "reality" of either alternating periods of all-or-nothing or doing, say, a 90%-80% or even 70% consistent plan, the latter should be better physically. I can certainly tell you from experience (20+ years of yo-yoing vs. now going on 3 yrs of losing weight and maintaining) that psychologically I'm lightyears better off.

I think we have to be honest with ourselves. In an ideal world I would abstain from anything "bad" for me, 24/7/52 for all eternity -- especially if I experienced immediate negative consequences. However, I'm either lucky or unlucky to have few if any food sensitivities. Lucky in that I can enjoy just about anything w/o repercussions, unlucky in that there's no overwhelming immediate motivation/incentive TO avoid anything in particular.

But when I had that face to face chat with myself a few years back, I realized that there was something in me that just enjoyed a drink here and there, a favorite food, laying in bed doing nothing all day once in a while. I can't possibly be alone. Indeed reading various personal journals, blogs and discussion forum posts about the web, I think I'm more the norm than the oddball out. I think finally acknowledging this and gaining control over it has been a huge accomplishment these past few years.

My Dukan Plan

2010-04-20T05:32:00.000-07:00

The following article was posted over at Jimmy's forum about the "Ultimate"/Dukan Diet that originated in France. It is described as a high protein, low fat, low carb plan.

The Plan has Four Phases:

The Attack Phase is 1 to 10 days of protein only. This is a bit of a misnomer, as all manner of meats, fish, poultry and eggs are allowed that -- depending on one's tastes and choices -- could be relatively high fat (especially by typical "low fat" <30% or even <20% standards). This is not at all unlike how many Zero Carbers eat every day. Thus this is ZC, necessarily "high" protein but moderate fat. It is low/absent in ADDED fats. I suspect that one could compromise on this by saving added fats for the leaner proteins. The only puzzlement is the non-fat dairy -- much of which can be fairly high in carbs. I believe limited hard cheeses could be used in moderation depending on the other food choices.

Cruise Phase is the active weight loss phase. You alternate "all protein" with protein and veggie days. Again many zero and VL carbers eat like this all the time. I think one could make the compromises I mentioned above. Also, this might be more livable for those of us who enjoy the occasional carb, to allow a few more carbs on the alternate veggie days.

Consolidation Phase: This is to allow your losses to "take" and you are supposed to spend 5 days for every pound lost in this phase. I guess I would have to get the book to find out the schedule of adding back in foods in phases including fruits, bread, cheese, etc. If you've lost a lot of weight, this could be longer than a year! But this seems to be what so many plans are lacking, or if not lacking, it "prescribes" the length one should spend in this phase to stabilize weight.

And Finally Maintenance: Here you do 1 Attack Phase type day per week. You are encouraged to have 2 "celebration" meals/week and eat "normally" all the other times. The celebration meals are encouraged, not just tolerated.

All along, the one concession to carbs is oat bran. You are allowed 1T/day and they show a stack of oat bran pancakes in the article. Ummmm ... can you make one of those with only 1T?

The diet as a whole is not for me, but there are certainly components that can be worked into a plan. I've essentially "maintained" by a similar scheme, though less regular. I have my cheats, and follow them with a day or several (depending on the length and carby-ness of the cheat) of VLC. When I lost weight on my first diet to 110 lbs, I maintained that for quite a while by fasting (in the true sense) every Sunday. Lots of IF'ers do this every now and again as well.

Anyway, the diet and my comments aside, I was intrigued by going to the website www.dukandiet.co.uk and filling in the free questionnaire to determine my "True Weight". The graphic below is for moi. I found it interesting that my True Weight is 157 lbs which exceeds the upper limit of every weight chart for my height I've ever seen. If I'm a good girl on Dukan (couldn't do it!!) I would be at that weight by the end of August and spend the next 6 months in Consolidation.

Are Carbs REALLY Addictive?

2010-04-16T11:50:00.000-07:00

Let me begin this post by stating that I credit LC with curing me of my binge eating disorders. Even though I gained around 100 lbs after my first LC stint, it was from chronic overeating of the wrong foods rather than binging. Granted, I had done some work on the mindset issues that precipitated the whole yo-yo binge cycle thing in the first place, and marrying a man who loves me at any weight sure does help ... but LC really did something to reset my metabolism.

However in my first two Atkins stints, I remained convinced that I had to do it "all the way" or else I might as well not bother with LC at all. I think subscribing to this predisposes one to binge on carbs in a self-fulfilling prophecy sort of manner. I don't doubt for a minute the sincerity of those who speak of carb cravings and such. I just wonder if it is really physiological or if there's not a goodly portion of psychology involved. If you believe carbs will "blow" a day's/week's worth of carb restriction and become obsessed that even eating 5 extra carbs will set you off ... I think this can lead to it actually doing so. This is classic self fulfilling prophecy theory. Worse yet, once you've blown it, there's this diet-mentality tendency to put off getting back on the wagon for another day, week, whatever as the deprivation ahead looms large.

I've demonstrated for two and a half years and counting now that this does not have to be so. By allowing "cheats" I never overindulge because I can always have XYZ again at some undetermined future time. I enjoy goodies at parties in true moderation knowing that it is physiologically impossible to gain a pound of fat without eating at least one pound of EXCESS food (more considering the caloric densities of carbs and proteins and non-caloric water and fiber content). I also find that in leaving the timing of cheats open-ended, I cheat less often. Here's the thought process. Let's say hubby wants to have Chinese one day. I'll designate that a cheat day. I might or might not eat carby foods during the day. If I've had a hankering for a favorite food, I may get it for another meal that day, if not, dinner may be the only cheat. Knowing that if I really want Chinese again the next day I can, it turns out I almost never do -- I can have it again sometime. One might think this could lead to cheating every other day, but actually it works opposite and I often forego cheats when I'm on an LC "roll" because LC works best for me to keep calories down.

Odd Observation

2010-04-13T05:32:00.000-07:00

Lately one of the things that I think makes a difference in my appearance is the loss of weight in the chin/jaw. But a disturbing byproduct of this, however, is that I think I look older and a little saggy. Had a carby weekend and noticed yesterday that my face looked a lot better -- like my skin was plumper or something. Uggh ... do I need to trade off?

I'm not a big water drinker. I think maybe I will try to pay more attention to not getting dehydrated on LC days.

100 Pushup - Week Three

2010-04-13T05:24:00.000-07:00

I'm loving this! www.hundredpushups.com

Made all goals for the middle column for the 3rd week! :)

100 Pushup - Week Two Re-test

2010-04-04T07:12:00.000-07:00

I'm doing the hundred pushup challenge doing "knee" or girlie pushups.

My first test I managed 8 pushups so I'm following the middle column. For weeks 1 & 2 I only came up short (by one pushup ea of 2 sets) one day.

Today I did my re-test for Week 3. Managed 22 pushups! I'm pretty happy with that -- almost tripled my max amount! It also "qualifies" me to continue in the middle column program. Week 3 looks pretty ambitious! If I'm not up for it tomorrow, I may do T/Th/Sa for one week to give myself some rest in there.

Intentionally losing LBM?

2010-04-04T06:55:00.000-07:00

An internet friend on an LC discussion forum posed this question to me once, and I've been thinking about this from time to time ever since.

I've probably lost 100 lbs since 2007, but only ~10 lbs in 2009 and 3 lbs so far in 2010. I try not to get too hung up on the number on the scale, but the fact remains that I weigh a LOT for my height. I'm very dense, and don't look like I weigh this much, but it is still weight my joints must handle.

Although I did no formal exercise until late Spring 2009, and slacked off of that for months at a clip, I remain quite strong and have always been on the more muscular side. But I'm thinking my body's desire to remain at this relatively high weight may be due to its working to maintain LBM.

So I've been mulling doing SHORT periods of a 1000 calorie "fat fast" -- not for the reasons Atkins and his progeny of proteges advocate -- but to intentionally lose muscle mass.

I tend to lose weight best on higher protein LC. But that has been weight loss down to around the 200 lb mark. After that, nothing seems to work for very long.

Still, I'm very wary of any sort of extreme "fad" diet. The Eades 6 Week Cure almost obliterated my hard fought for mindset of having control over not regaining this weight loss. So it is not without some worry that I try this. However the 10 lbs I lost in 2009 were mostly accomplished when I first tried IF which started out, somewhat unintentionally, as a low carb, high fat and low calorie diet. I had trouble eating more than 1000 cal most days. However every 4th day was a carb day there too, and I weighed in sometimes after the high-carb day (where I ate crappy carbs sometimes too, just didn't overeat). I was also exercising 1 hr 3-4X/week.

I've found where high protein ketogenic diets preserve LBM, but I cannot see how high fat ones possibly can, especially at the calorie counts advocated/practiced. For every 100 cals of an 80% fat diet, protein can be 5g at most. Even with ketones, you need at least 100g JUST to meet the protein needs for gluconeogenesis -- and since only certain amino acids are fed into this process the rest have to come from somewhere I would think. So we're talking for me, at 1000 cals I would be getting 50g protein -- barely enough for "maintenance" and insufficient for glucose formation by a long shot.

One thing I'm not concerned about right now is maintaining LBM. If I lose some, so be it. My metabolism is what it is and any sagging is due to excess skin and leftover flab I can't seem to shed -- IOW, I can't see muscle tone outwardly anyway. But I am actively mulling the thought of short periods of VHF/VLC to intentionally lose LBM. I would appreciate input from anyone who reads this!

I eat semi-IF these days anyway. Never much ate breakfast, but eat my first meal between 11am and noon most days. However I conscientiously stop eating within 5-6 hours after that first meal most days as well.

Hello!

2010-04-03T04:39:00.000-07:00

I decided to keep the other blog mostly science & book reviews, and blog about my personal journey in a separate blog ... here :)

Yesterday I finished week 2 of the 100 pushups plan. I made the planned pushups plus one which surprised me!

12/13/10/10/16. Feeling good ... feeling strong!

Today will be a carb day since I did my once-a-year bread baking fest for Easter yesterday. It can't have much flour, but I have to highly recommend Pam for baking. None of my loaves stuck one bit. This stuff is power aerosoled! Didn't seem to make much of a flour residue so I doubt it has carbs worth noting if you're gonna use it for baking LC goodies.

I'm hosting a small early Easter get together today. Gotta have one more cuppa Joe then off to work!